


Beneath the stains of memories.

by caffeineaddicted_malec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec is a literal angel, Amnesia Magnus, Architect Alec Lightwood, Boys In Love, Caring Alec Lightwood, Chef Magnus Bane, F/F, F/M, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Hugs, Hurt Magnus Bane, Jealous Magnus Bane, Kisses (lots of Kisses), M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane in Love, Magnus wants Alec back, Married Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Pain, Protective Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-07 09:43:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14668421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeineaddicted_malec/pseuds/caffeineaddicted_malec
Summary: Alec never thought that he would bump into his ex-husband Magnus at Catarina's birthday party 3 years after the accident that destroyed Magnus' memories of Alec and their love and marriage. The man never thought that running into Magnus would bring back his heartbreak and the memories of the accident.He knows for certain that in no world or alternate universe will he stop loving Magnus with every molecule of his existence and that he will do whatever it takes to make sure Magnus is happy. Even if it means staying away from him.----Another amnesia AU that no one asked for, and yet my heartbroken self couldn't wait to pen it down.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this three-part ficlet when I was experiencing a writer's block for my other two stories. This has already been penned down and I should post the other two parts over the next month. It's a short one... and not really high on plot. 
> 
> It's just Malec - Angst - Fluff - Malec.
> 
> Yeah, I hope you like it.  
> Come find me on Twitter (@mymalecstories). I'll look forward to all the yelling =P

“I’ll be there in 30 minutes, Cat... I swear. I didn’t realize it was already 8:30pm. I am so sorry, you are free to kick my ass as soon as I am at your disposal... I deserve every bit of it”, Alec breathed out on his phone as he rushed to the train station in Manhattan. He didn’t even wait for Catarina to say something in return and cut the call immediately. He was running late, super late if you asked Catarina, one of his closest friends who lived in the heart of Brooklyn. He tied the belt of his coat tightly around his waist and descended the stairs that led to the underground station. He was cursing himself for forgetting about Cat’s birthday party while working overtime on his new project. An architect by profession, Alec had decided to stay up late to prepare for his presentation about the new library that he was designing, while renovating an older one in one of the busiest corners of Upper East Side. He gulped and stopped to catch his breath and swiped his card at the entrance. The next train for Brooklyn was up in 5 minutes. He scurried to the platform and bought a cup of coffee while waiting for the train. Today, of all days, his car had also decided to ditch him. He had it towed to the mechanic right before he started for Catarina’s place.

The train halted on the platform and Alec hurried in and smiled with triumph as he found an empty seat for himself. He plugged in his headphones and threw his head back on the wall of the train. Brooklyn was safely half an hour away from where he had started, and he could relax for some time. Closing his eyes, he released a deep breath and relaxed his shoulder muscles and the world silenced around him and the only sound he could hear was the music in his ears.

It was freezing when Alec got out of the train at Brooklyn Bridge subway station. He stuffed his hands in his coat pockets and stepped out into the air, licking his lips. The night had fallen heavily all over the street and Alec recalled that he hadn’t been out and about in the streets of Brooklyn in a very long time – three years to be exact. They felt oddly familiar to him – the shops that were slowly shutting down and food stalls that were still buzzing with people who stole a glance at him as he passed by. Over the last 3 years, he had not explored Brooklyn on foot. He came to visit Catarina sometimes, but it was usually in his car which he stopped directly at her apartment. There was no point in him coming to Brooklyn otherwise because he could get everything he wanted in Manhattan, except for that one thing that he desired the most...the  _one person._ And now, even Brooklyn couldn’t give that person back to Alec even if the city desired it with every inch of its area. Alec shook his head as his mind wandered to a place where he desperately wanted it to not. He couldn’t afford to lose himself after coming so far, especially today when everything and everyone was reminding him of his past, that he had terribly failed to put behind him.

He turned along with the street and reached the reception of Catarina’s building. The doorman instantly recognized him.

“Mr Smith, you look joyful. Is Nancy recovering well?”, Alec asked the doorman. The wrinkly man looked up from his desk and smiled at the young man.

“She is indeed, Mr Lightwood. Thanks to the blessings she received from all your friends and Ms Loss. We’re very grateful for the same.”, the man giggled, drops of saliva appearing on the corner of his lips. Nancy was Mr Smith’s granddaughter who was suffering from a severe Staph infection due to weakened immunity the last time Alec had been to Catarina’s for their usual game nights.

“We did nothing, Nancy is a brave girl...and so are you. How is Catarina’s mood today though? Am I in a lot of trouble?”, Alec frowned, trying to sound prepared for Catarina's mood.

“She was pissed, Mr Lightwood. Mighty pissed if you ask me!”, Mr Smith rolled his eyes, making Alec sigh in defeat. He was going to have a tough time explaining how he forgot about her birthday party. Rubbing his forehead, he proceeded to the elevator and pressed the number 8. The lift creaked and shook slightly as the doors shut. Alec held the walls of the elevator. He swore that one of these days, he would get stuck in these ancient machines. He left out the breath he was holding when the elevator opened on the eighth floor and he walked out. The floors were beautifully carpeted, and Alec could hear muffled sounds of music from Cat’s apartment. He knew that Cat always left the apartment unlocked during such parties and so, he pushed the door knob and walked in to a house full of people.

Amidst the people who lived in the apartment complex, Alec recognized his friends’ circle comfortably scattered across the room. Simon, the young boy who was completing his residency at Brooklyn Memorial Hospital apart from being his sister’s fiancé, was sitting on the backrest of the sofa. He had a wine glass in his hand and his free hand moved animatedly as he explained something to two men who Alec didn’t recognize. Crazy old Simon Lewis – always the entertainer at parties. Alec bit his lip and looked around. His younger sister Isabelle was talking to his adopted brother’s wife Clary in another remote corner of the hall. Speaking of his adoptive brother, Alec’s eyes wandered around to find his blonde-haired younger brother Jonathan...or Jace as everyone preferred and found him playing pool against Ragnor Fell, Catarina’s best friend. Alec stepped forward to join his sister and sister-in-law and find the birthday girl in the process.

“Izzy?”, Alec yelled as he reached his sister. Izzy snapped her head around and her pupils widened when she saw. She took long leaps and jumped at Alec, wrapping his hands around him as if she was meeting him after a very long time.

“Alec”, she smiled against his shoulder and pressed a kiss on his cheek while pulling away from him. “Finally, the busiest member of our tiny gang decided to show up. Now, before Catarina decides to go haywire on the rest of us, find her and wish her so we can get to the cake-cutting part... I am starving, and I hear Ragnor did a marvelous job with the cake selection this year...”, she spoke all at once. Alec scoffed and bit his lower lip, stepping away from his sister. Catarina was very pissed, it seemed. He looked around to see if Catarina was in the hall and then looked at the door that opened into her balcony. Whenever Catarina was missing from her apartment, she would definitely be in her balcony. Alec rolled his eyes and pushed the door of the balcony open.

He was right.

Alec grinned as he found his friend leaning on the parapet. Some of the guests from the party had occupied the balcony, enjoying the chilly nights of November. He used his long and unending legs to his advantage and covered the distance between them. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he hugged her from the back and sighed, “Happy Birthday, drama queen! I am here now, feel free to kick me, strangle me...throw me down this balcony. I am all yours!”

He felt odd when Cat stiffened under his touch. He pulled away and turned her around. She was pale, and her forehead was covered with drops of sweat. Alec squeezed her shoulder with his big palms.

“Hey, I am sorry... I didn’t realize...”, Alec shook his head, moving his eyes around in the balcony. And then he froze when the corner of his eyes caught something that couldn’t be true. Alec’s breath hitched as he turned to see the object of his attention. Far away from him and Cat, with his side profile facing them, stood the love of Alec’s life and his now ex-husband – Magnus Bane. Alec felt weak in his knees and stumbled back a little. Magnus was setting up the barbecue grill, oblivious of Alec’s presence.

“Magnus”, Alec gasped, big tears forming in his eyes that were stinging and burning.

“I called you earlier... but you didn’t hear me out... and cut the call”, Cat spoke up, her voice shaking with fear. “I thought I would ask you to not come to the party, but you were in such a hurry to come and Alec... I am so sorry. I should have texted you at least... but I didn’t know... he didn’t tell me anything”, she blabbered but Alec couldn’t hear a thing. All he understood was that his ex-husband and the man he was still in love with, deep down, was standing in front of him.

“You...don’t have to apologize, Kitty... it is not your fault.”, Alec called her by the nickname he gave her so long ago, but his gaze was still fixed at Magnus. The nickname he used only when he wanted to be honest with her, and personal. “I am fine... he is your best friend, always has been. He, of all people, deserves to be here. I will make myself scarce, don’t worry...but I am not leaving because it is  _you_ I am here to celebrate... nothing else matters to me today.”, Alec pulled himself together and turned to press a quick kiss on her cheeks. She gasped and squeezed his hand. She was one of the few people who understood the extend of heartbreak that Alec had been through.

“Alec...”, a very familiar and hoarse voice broke the moment between Cat and Alec and the young man turned his head towards the source of the voice, understanding that the voice came from the man he never wanted to face.

Alec’s eyes met Magnus’ deep brown ones and they moistened, instantly.

\-----

_“Let me go Izzy. I need to know if Magnus is alright...”, Alec struggled as the nurses forced him to stay back on the bed._

_“Alec...no, you can’t see him. He has only just woken up and he doesn’t remember anything from the past 5 years. He believes that he came to the hospital after slipping down the stairs of his condo...”, Izzy explained._

_“Izzy...that was so many years ago, before he and I even met...how can...”_

_“The doctors said he has retrograde amnesia and his brain rewired itself in a way that it linked the memories of his last head injury to this one, erasing everything that happened between those two events, including meeting you...falling in love with you and marrying you... to name the most important ones...”, Izzy explained with tears in her eyes. She was holding Alec’s hand which wasn’t broken._

_Alec and Magnus were coming back from one of their many weekend getaways when a drunk driver, driving a large lorry, threw them off the bridge and into a dried-up river. Alec survived the accident with a few broken ribs and a broken arm along with a mild concussion while Magnus suffered a severe head injury and fell into a coma right after he was rescued from the crash site by the paramedics._

_He woke up 4 days later with no memories of the last half a decade. All he could remember was the night of Cat’s birthday during the time when he was at the University where he had slipped down the stairs and suffered a concussion. His father, Asmodeus slowly broke to him the news of his retrograde amnesia...only telling him information that wouldn’t stress his boy. Magnus was aghast to learn that five major years of his life were missing and that there was a slight chance that he might never get those memories back. The doctors had strictly asked the families to not say anything that would put Magnus’ brain in shock._

_Cat and Ragnor tried to introduce Izzy to Magnus but the same night, Magnus suffered a shock and that’s when Asmodeus decided that nobody would mention anything about the Lightwoods until Magnus was mentally capable of dealing with the news of his marriage to Alec. Alec himself was in surgery when Magnus had woken up and he wasn’t allowed to meet Magnus at all after that. Asmodeus visited him once after Izzy told him that Magnus did not remember anything, explaining why it was necessary for Alec and Magnus to not meet until Magnus was healthy enough to survive. Alec protested that Magnus wouldn’t be shocked to see him and meeting him might just trigger his lost memories. But, Asmodeus wouldn’t budge. He couldn’t let Magnus slip into a coma again, let alone lose him. After an hour-long discussion, Alec realized that it was probably in Magnus’ best interest that he stayed away from him._

_Alec was discharged from the hospital a week later. He was allowed to see Magnus once before he left with his mother to Nashville. Magnus was asleep in his room, with Asmodeus by his side. Cat and Ragnor were sleeping on the couch. Asmodeus had allowed Alec to have one last glimpse of his husband, only when the latter was asleep, until he took Magnus away from New York to aid his healing. It isn’t like he blamed Alec for anything, but he couldn’t imagine losing Magnus and would do anything to prevent that from happening on his watch. Alec saw his husband sleeping peacefully, albeit with the wires and tubes that were attached to him, aiding him to breathe and heal. His head was wrapped in bandages and his left arm was plastered._

_Maryse hugged Alec softly, “We need to let him get better, Alec. He loved you...and he can’t forget that. Ever. Even if he doesn’t remember it, right now. He’ll come back to you. I know that. You are Magnus and Alec. You’re meant to be together, always. Just trust time to heal every last broken bone and heart”_

_“Mom, I can’t leave him alone when he is so injured... how can I? I vowed to be by his side for the rest of our lives and here I am, leaving my injured husband in the hospital, running away when he is asleep. What does that make me?”, Alec whispered, teary eyed. Maryse cupped his face and wiped the tears away._

_“You also vowed to keep him safe...didn’t you? For that, it’s necessary that you let his father take him away so that he can heal, Alec. Asmodeus would eventually tell him about you when it is the right time. And you need to come home with us while that is happening... You’re human, my love... it is ok to miss him, but you have to understand that he might need you more by not having you around...”, she pulled him in a hug. Alec sobbed, burying his face in his mother’s neck. “You and Magnus, you’ve been together for so long, and you will find your way back to each other. Come on, let’s get you back home and on your feet in no time. So that you can fight for your husband and bring my son-in-law back home.”_

_Alec left Magnus and Asmodeus in that hospital room and returned to his home in Malibu, to heal from the accident and deal with the fact that he had lost his husband. A small part of him was relieved that he was at least alive and breathing._

_He could live with that._

\-----

Alec blinked his eyes and found Magnus standing very close to him. He choked and took a step back as he felt Magnus’ lavender and vanilla fragrance saturate his lungs. It had been so long that Alec had almost forgotten how heavenly Magnus smelled. “Magnus”, he breathed out his name again, holding himself at a distance. He didn’t know if Magnus was ok being around his husband...ex-husband without going into some kind of an emotional shock.

“Alec...”, Magnus narrowed his brows, as if asking him if he was right in recognizing the face. In front of Alec, stood the man he had vowed to be with, for the rest of his life. But the same man had a strange look in his eyes – the look that didn’t recognize Alec. Never in his wildest dreams could Alec have imagined a day where Magnus looked at him with no love in his eyes. It was worst than the pain of having his arm ripped into shreds.

“Yeah yeah it is me...how...how are you doing?”, Alec took another step back and licked his lips, whispering softly. “You look healthy... and well”, panic started setting in Alec’s chest. He didn’t know how and what to say in front of his ex-husband. Magnus was still so beautiful to look it and it was hard to believe that he had no memories of his time with Alec.

“Yeah...yeah, I am. Thanks...”, Magnus replied, quizzically.

“I am happy to hear that. Have a great time at the party...”, Alec blurted and dashed out into the apartment after muttering a quick goodbye to Cat. He stopped right in front of Jace who understood that something was wrong with his brother, guessing by the redness of the taller boy’s hazels. Alec bit his lips and wrapped his arms around his brother, exhaling deep and unsettling breaths.

“Alec... what happened? You’re ok...you’re ok. Talk to me? Come on... you can tell me what happened. Did someone say something to you?”, Jace made circles with his palm on Alec’s back, trying to calm him down. Alec’s heavy breathing made Jace’s shirt warmer. “Is your hand hurting again?”, Jace grew worried.

“Magnus is back in New York, Jace. I just saw him with Cat outside in the balcony and he didn’t...he still doesn’t recognize me... I didn’t know that I couldn’t deal with the fact that my husband did not love me anymore. My Magnus, does not know who I am and he doesn’t love me anymore.”, Jace’s heart sank for his brother. Alec had already been through enough and then bumping into his ex-husband after Alec was finally trying to move on with his life.

“Do you...do you maybe want to go back home? I’ll drive you back myself...”, Jace asked, unable to understand what to do further. Maybe taking Alec away from Magnus would help him get over him.

“No... no, I am here because of Kitty, I can’t... leave. No, that won’t be right, Jace. I needed a moment... I am fine...thank you”, Alec shook his head, rubbing his eyes. “I will just...”, Alec took a deep breath, pulling himself together. “Grab me a drink...Jonathan Lightwood. A strong one so that I can celebrate my friend’s birthday without realizing that my ex-husband who doesn’t have memories of me is here...”, Alec rubbed his eyes and flashed a smile on his face.

“Alec...are you sure? You were just...are you alright? A moment ago...”, Jace was taken aback.

“I had forgotten that it was Magnus who sent me divorce papers 2 years ago, Jace... he knew that we were married, and he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. There’s nothing I can do about it, and it would be good if we can all just forget about it...  _pun intended_ and be good to Kitty. I had a moment of weakness, but I am fine. I am completely fine. Now, grab me the drink I asked for... scurry!”, Alec gulped and nodded. Jace rolled his eyes and turned around to grab Alec his drink.

Alec took a deep breath and turned around to find Magnus standing a few feet away from him. His ringed fingers were curled into each other and he was rubbing them, nervously. Alec swallowed and looked at him, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

“Can we talk?”, Magnus spoke, breaking the silence between them. Alec raised his brows in surprise.

“You want to talk?”, Alec turned the question against him.

“Yeah...yeah...”, Magnus said, albeit nervously. Alec nodded and followed him to Cat’s room. Alec gently shut the door without locking it.

Magnus still didn’t remember anything between him and Alec and it was driving him insane. Two years ago, his father told him about the missing pieces of his life. That included him falling in love with a tall, and handsome brunet with the most gorgeous hazels Magnus had ever seen in his life. He stood in front of his father, holding his wedding photo in his hand. The photo in which both he and Alec were dressed in gold and white tux and were smooching each other. At first, Magnus did not believe his father. With the life that he had led from the time he had his memories, he couldn’t comprehend that he would ever settle down with someone. Asmodeus gave him Alec’s number, should he desired to speak to his husband. It had been a year since the accident and Magnus had almost completely recovered.

That night, Magnus held Alec’s photo in his hand and thought about everything that was to become of his life. He didn’t remember Alec at all. And that was the reality of that moment.

“We never really talked about the divorce... I mean directly... I know I wrote you a letter and all...”, Magnus began, catching Alec by surprise. It was one Magnus’ many qualities that Alec had fallen for. His brutal honesty. Alec cleared his throat.

“There’s nothing to talk about that...”, he whispered.

“I am sorry I don’t remember us”, Magnus dropped his head. “Dad told me about...about  _u... you..._ he told me about you and I... I don’t disregard what we had, but I just...can’t remember it. Remember what I felt for you...”

And there, Alec felt a knife being driven through his chest. “You don’t have to apologize, hon...  _Magnus!_ I understand. You had a very severe injury to the head and I am glad that I can see you breathing and walking”, Alec smiled. That was true. Alec was thankful to God that Magnus was ok, even if he had forgotten him.

“I tried to talk to you... but I couldn’t, Alec”, Magnus shook his head. Alec felt odd. He wasn’t used to Magnus calling him Alec. He had always been his Alexander but now, it was just so different. Everything was different. “It kills me that I let you alone in all this. You remember us, and I cannot fathom what it is like being in your place, watching your husband in front of you. I truly am sorry. I just hope you know that the divorce wasn’t because of you. I couldn’t be honest with a relationship I don’t remember anything about...”, he added.

“Believe me, Magnus. I understand. I understand where you’re coming from and I am ok with it. I did sign those papers and send them back to you. Remember? So, there is really nothing that we need to talk about. Welcome to New York. It’s Cat’s birthday party and she is your best friend. You should celebrate her... while you are still here. I won’t bother you more than I have to”, Alec shrugged.

“I moved here permanently.”, Magnus informed, biting his lips. Alec’s pupils widened.

“You did?”, he gulped. “How did Dad...I mean, Uncle Asmodeus take it...? Is he alright with you shifting back to the city, all by yourself?”, Alec lifted his lips upwards.

“I told him that it was time for me to get back to my life and work. How long can I stay in Seattle, under his umbrella. I am 30 now, and I need to get back to working”, Magnus informed, rubbing his knuckles with his fingers.

“Right...of course. So, where are you working then?”, Alec asked. It was becoming easier, for the first time in forever. Magnus was in front of him and yet, Alec was doing just fine. He was actually enjoying talking to Magnus because he missed him. He had missed him so much.

“For now, I am going to join Cat in her café...but, I’ve been looking for places to rent. Maybe start my own restaurant. I don’t know. I haven’t given much thought to it. It’s all been really spontaneous”, Magnus was surprised with himself. He usually took time opening up with people but with Alec, he just naturally blended in. He couldn’t imagine sharing so much with someone he had just met, but it all felt very organic to him.

“Oh...great! I am sure you’ll find a place in no time. All the best, Magnus”, Alec smiled, spotting Jace who was looking for him in the living room. He knew Jace would be furious if he saw Magnus anywhere. “I’ll... I’ll see you around. My brother is looking for me and I should...”, Alec tilted his head and turned around without waiting for Magnus’ response.

“Alec?”, Magnus hesitantly called him back. “For what it’s worth. I am still sorry”, he whispered.

“Yeah...me too!”, Alec smiled and left the room.

\-----

The people gathered around the table as Magnus and Ragnor brought the cake out for Catarina’s birthday. Jace and Alec were standing on the other side of the birthday girl. Alec kissed the side of Catarina’s forehead before she blew the candles. She dug the knife into the cake and sliced out a large piece out. Cutting it into half, she stuffed one into Magnus’ mouth and one in Alec’s mouth.

“Happy birthday”, he whispered in her ears. Magnus watched his best friend and his ex-husband share that sweet moment. He felt his lips curve into a soft smile. One by one, all of Magnus and Alec’s common friends hugged and wished Catarina while Alec and Jace slipped to the bar.

“I have never seen you around in Brooklyn”, a deep baritone distracted Alec and Jace from the conversation that they were having. Alec turned to see a tall man, almost as tall as himself, with striking blue eyes and a pale complexion. He had light brown hair that fell messily on his forehead. Alec raised a brow and leaned forward on the table.

“That’s because I live in Manhattan and not Brooklyn”, Alec licked his lips and blinked nervously when he noticed the boy looking straight at his wet lips. He pulled his tongue inside and cleared his throat.

“Aah, that explains it”, he winked, inching closer to Alec. Alec shifted uncomfortably and felt Jace retreat from beside him, leaving him alone.

“Explains...what exactly?”, Alec rolled his eyes.

“You’re so cultured for the likes of people down here. So, unlike the roughness of Brooklyn. You couldn’t fake being from here for your life...”, the boy shook his head gently lifting his hand up to Alec’s shirt and clutching the lapels. Alec’s breath hitched as he felt the boy come closer than he would have anticipated.

“I don’t even know your name... Mr Blue Eyes. But here you are, judging me for who I could possibly be...”, Alec pulled back, only slightly.

“Travis. Travis Jenner”, the boy replied, covering the distance Alec had just created. Alec cleared his throat once more. He wasn’t ready for this. Not tonight. But Travis was so good looking, and he smelt even better. He straightened himself and let Travis pull him by his belt such that their waists brushed against each other. Alec was trapped between the table and the boy.

“Alec... Alec Lightwood”, Alec breathed out, unable to control the surge of his hormones. “I’ve never seen you around Cat’s house either...”

Jace wrapped an arm around his wife and dropped his head on her shoulder. “Our brother is in so much trouble tonight, Izz”, he spoke to his sister who was standing close by. Izzy’s eyes darted to Alec whose head was tilted slightly and Travis was whispering something in his ears.

“God knows our brother needs this kind of encouragement”, Izzy smiled, recalling all that Alec had been through in the last couple of years.

Magnus was sitting on a table with Ragnor, with a glass of martini in his hand and the mere mention of Alec by the Lightwoods made his eyes wander around the room to spot him. And then he spotted him at the table, stuck to it by a boy who was dangerously close to Alec.

Magnus gulped and looked away, something inside him finding all this very revolting.

“Who is that boy with Alec?”, Magnus enquired from his best friend.

“Ooh...”, Ragnor widened his eyes. “That’s Travis... Cat’s new neighbor. He moved in last month. Chill guy. Works at a museum. He’s been very helpful to Cat and I like him...”, Ragnor informed.

“Isn’t he too young...”, Magnus frowned.

“He’s 25...so? Magnus...you’re not making sense...”, Ragnor rolled his eyes.

He wasn’t. Ragnor was right. Magnus wasn’t making sense. He closed his eyes and distracted himself by bringing up the topic of his opening his own restaurant.

“I don’t even know you...”, Alec chuckled, trying to break free from Travis’ touch. Although, he wasn’t really trying. The younger boy scoffed and pressed a light peck on Alec’s stubbled cheeks.

“Pandemonium, Friday night after work. Join me for drinks?”, Travis was up front and blunt. Alec widened his eyes and gasped. He’d just been asked out by a boy who was visibly younger than he was. “Get to know me...and then...”, he added with a wink.

“Did you just ask me out?”, Alec asked, appalled.

“Maybe. So, yes to drinks or not?”, Travis leaned closer.

“Whose to say that you’re not doing this just to get in my pants?”, Alec pulled away, understanding that he was being flirted at.

“I am not. You’re handsome, Alec. I have not been able to look away from you ever since I walked in through that door. And, I want to know you, if that is ok with you?”, Travis’ voice grew softer.

“Friday is still 3 days away. I need time to think. It’s not everyday you get asked out like that...”, Alec blabbered. Travis smiled and pulled out Alec’s phone from his pocket.

“Unlock it, and I’ll save my number. Tell me when you’ve decided”, Travis said. Alec found himself obeying the boy. He unlocked his phone and handed it over to him who saved his contact number and left Alec, kissing him on his cheek again. Alec let out the breath he was holding and rubbed his temple. He received a text later.

**I texted myself so that I have your number too. It was great meeting you, Alec. - TeeJay**

He was in trouble.

Alec joined his family trying to forget his encounter with that beautiful stranger. The guests slowly returned home and then the only people left were Catarina, Magnus, Alec, Izzy and Ragnor. Jace had taken Clary home because she was feeling uneasy.

“Do you have to work tomorrow, Alec?”, Catarina asked, plugging in a memory stick in her TV.

“Yeah, why?”, Alec narrowed his brows, dropping on the couch next to his sister. He had a bottle of beer in his hand, although he was tipsy. His eyes were red and heavy with intoxication, but he could feel Magnus moving in the corner of his eyes.

“Stay for the movie?”, Catarina winked.

“I thought I was...but thanks, Kitty. Thanks for the invite. I’d love to”, Alec stuck out his tongue. Cat frowned and threw a cushion at Alec. Alec chuckled, dodging the attack. Ragnor dimmed the lights as they group settled in front of the television. It was half way through the movie when Alec’s phone lit up his surroundings. Magnus turned around to notice Alec.

Alec was scrolling through his phone and then he just blushed.

**Waiting to hear from you, Mr Long Legs**

\-----

“So, did you tell him a yes?”, Izzy asked him two days later. They were sitting in Cat’s café and waiting for their orders before proceeding to their respective work places. Cat’s café, unlike her residence, was in Manhattan and very accessible from both Izzy’s hospital as well as Alec’s architecture firm. In fact, her major clientele happened to be from both these places, solely based on word of mouth spread by the Lightwoods.

“Tell who, what?”, Alec was playing with the remnants of the croissant on his place and he snapped his neck up at the question.

“The neighbor who asked you out day before yesterday? That gorgeous blue-eyed boy?”, Izzy wiggled her brows. Alec pursed his lips and muttered a weird sound, suggesting Izzy that he was still thinking about it. They were interrupted by the clanking of two glasses on the table. It was Magnus. Alec cleared his throat and looked away, to avoid Magnus’ gaze on him.

“That’s your Banana and Kiwi milkshakes”, Magnus whispered, hoping to see a smile in return from either one of the Lightwoods. Izzy looked up at him with warmth and love in her eyes. “Have a lovely day”, he smiled.

“Thank you, Magnus”, she softly smiled. “I hope you’re settling well. It was great to see you healthy and back on your feet after so long. And I wish you a very good day as well!”, she added, hoping Magnus would leave and relax her brother’s held breath.

“As a matter of fact, I am settling very well. New York has been nothing but kind to me so far. And I obviously didn’t remember how many people cared for the other me and was pleasantly surprised by all the affection I received at the party. So, thank you for that Ms. Lightwood. I am looking forward to knowing the people again. And, I hope you enjoy your milkshakes. I guess, I’ll see you around then?”, he said, nervously. Izzy narrowed her brows and looked at him, trying to figure out if there was something more to what Magnus had meant. There was a certain familiarity in everything that Magnus talked about. Of course, he didn’t remember any of them. But all of them remembered Magnus all too well and they were all glad to have him back with them.

Magnus took a deep breath and returned to the kitchen. He kept the tray aside and clutched the edges of the kitchen counter, closing his eyes. Knowing what he and Alec had had and what he had so mercilessly ended, he was confused why any new development in Alec’s life bothered him so much. Cat had a serving staff to serve the finished orders, but Magnus didn’t comprehend why he had volunteered to do it himself for the Lightwoods. Why was he eager to know if Alec took up that boy’s offer for a date? Why was he even just eager to see his beautiful face?

Why was Alec Lightwood so interesting for him?

“Travis looked like he was a fun guy. I mean, all he did was ridiculously flirt with me all the time we were at the Bar at Cat’s house. And it was also kinda cute...”, Alec admitted, pulling his glass of milkshake towards him.

“See, that’s what I am talking about. You need fun and cute in your life, Alec. You really do. You need to accept that it is time to move on and nothing is going to change your current situation. Even if it is the hardest thing to do at this point. And I know it is. I am your sister. I have seen you and Magnus being head over heels in love with each other and then him not even acknowledging your existence. He moved on, Alec. So, should you. What happened after that accident was unfortunate, but you can’t ignore it or change it. So, just accept it...once and for all”, she sighed, knowing that a part of her wanted some miracle to restore Magnus’ memories so that she could get her fashion-loving brother-in-law back.

“Fine, I’ll... I’ll send Travis a text that I’ll go out with him. I could probably do with a night off... drinks and date, won’t do me any harm I suppose.”, Alec rolled his eyes and shrugged sending a positive text to Travis. A wide grin appeared on Izzy’s mouth and she yelped in joy, alerting Catarina who was sitting by the billing desk, working on some of the data from their previous day at work.

“Wokay...”, she rose from her chair and crossed her hands on the chest. “The two of you have been cryptic since forever and I can’t take it anymore. Spill...”, she ordered. Izzy wiggled her brows and turned to Catarina.

“Alec Gideon Lightwood...aka my brooding big brother, has a date for tomorrow night”, she announced, rather loudly. Magnus was about to open the door of the kitchen to hand over another order to a waitress when he froze in his tracks. His gaze fell on his ex-husband, who was expectedly staring at him with a longing in his eyes.

 

_“If you wait any longer, you’ll lose this pretty boy to some random wannabe from Pandemonium. Scurry and ask him out on a date. Have you noticed the way you look at him...? You ogle him every time you see him, Magnus Bane. It is high time you do something about your infatuation with that brunette crush of yours.”, Catarina elbowed a 22-year old Magnus. Magnus sighed and looked at the boy in front of him – Alec Lightwood. He was a year younger than Magnus and had just graduated from architecture school at NYU. Magnus met him through their common friend Simon, who was dating Alec’s younger sister._

_“I don’t know Cat. I mean, look at him. He’s beautiful. And way out of my league. I can’t believe that he hasn’t been asked out by someone already...or worse, he might even have a boyfriend”, the boy feared. It was ironic considering how stunning Magnus himself was – with his flair for dramatics and love for glitter that currently adorned his eyelids and his cheeks._

_“You wouldn’t be sure of all this, if you don’t ask him. Come on? Go... try your luck before you miss the chance... and by the way, you are right in his league Magnus. Don’t even think about that...”, Cat nudged him again and this time, pushed him right in front of Alec who was standing in the middle of the café, waiting for his sister to finish their order._

_“Hi...”, Magnus gasped._

_“Hi...”, Alec beamed, his eyes glistening with happiness that Magnus didn’t quite understand. “You’re Magnus right...? Simon’s friend?”, Alec asked, with a smile tugging his lips._

_“Yeah...yes! I am the same...”, Magnus blushed, blabbering. Alec remembered who he was. “I... how are you? What brings you here this very lovely morning...?”, he stammered, knowing that he was acting stupid._

_“Good... great...how about you? Izzy said that this café has the best croissants in Manhattan and I just... How... How’s your culinary practice going on?”, Alec stuffed his hands in his pockets and stepped closer._

_“Good... great, I got a job with a very renowned restaurant in Manhattan”, Magnus pursed his lips and informed. He was impressed by the fact that Alec remembered everything about his career that he just mentioned randomly in their many conversations at the pub they first met._

_“Wow...great. All the best”, Alec bit his lips, not knowing where the conversation was headed._

_“Thank you, Alexander. But I didn’t come here to boast about that. I actually wanted to ask you something. I... was... I was wondering, if you’d... want to go out with me for drinks?”, Magnus swallowed, his mouth drying out. Alec was widened his eyes and raised his brows. He wasn’t expecting this. He blinked nervously with his lips parted._

_“Drinks... with you?”, he questioned. Magnus tilted his head, narrowing his brows, and licked his lips. He was amused._

_“Yeah... me”, he assured._

_“As in a date...?”, Alec asked, again._

_Magnus chuckled, turning red and purple in his cheeks. “Sure, if you want it to be a date... then, why not?”, he added. “I, for one, would love to go on a date with someone as handsome as yourself?”_

_“Yeah...”, Alec gave him a lop-sided grin. Magnus pursed his lips, controlling his urge to kiss Alec’s adorable face._

_“Yeah...”, he smiled..._

Magnus blinked as the blurry vision cleared in his mind. He gasped. What was that? A memory? A dream? He looked around and saw Alec paying the bill to Cat before he left. Magnus stumbled and fell back hitting the wall. These visions. He rubbed his forehead and blinked rapidly. These strange visions were partly the reasons he had returned to New York. He wanted answers and explanations as to why this was happening to him now – after two years of obliviousness. And then, as if on cue, his head started spinning suddenly. He lifted his palm facing backwards in an attempt to hold the wall, but he started blacking out.

It would have been nice if Magnus was alert enough to feel the comforting hands that grabbed him before he fainted to the ground. The last thing he registered was being lifted up in the air by someone and being pressed on a broad and warm chest before he closed his eyes.

Alec’s world shifted when he saw Magnus tremble in front of the kitchen door. He leaped over the billing desk and sprinted to Magnus, lifting him in his arms as Magnus fainted lifelessly. They rushed him to the nearest ER in Alec’s car where the attendings told them that he had just blacked out because of sudden adrenaline rush through his brain. He would be fine after a couple of hours of sleep after Alec gave them Magnus’ medical history, including his retrograde amnesia.

Magnus was given a comfortable bed to sleep in while Izzy and others resumed their work. Cat and Alec stayed with Alec not letting Magnus’ hand go for even one second. He knew he would have to let it go once Magnus woke up, so as to not startle his ex-husband but Magnus was asleep right now and he could cherish some moments of feeling Magnus’ skin again, after so long. Even if it meant nothing.

It was a couple of hours later that Magnus woke up from his slumber. His eyelids were heavy and loaded with sleep, but he struggled and shot them open. His right hand felt heavy, warm and sweat and turned his head in the direction to find Alec holding it in his own hands while sleeping on the chair next to his lips. He wriggled his fingers and Alec’s fingers automatically let him go. He shot his eyes open and leaned forward, scanning Magnus to see if he was responsive. Alec’s fingers absent-mindedly went to Magnus forehead to remove strands of hair from his head. Magnus closed his eyes and leaned in on the touch. It was  _magical_ to say the least.

“Are you ok?”, Alec asked, in the softest voice possible. His eyes were filled with tears of concern and an emotion Magnus couldn’t comprehend – the emotion filled with unconditional love.

“Yeah”, Magnus moaned, not knowing that he was smiling in Alec’s proximity. He felt the bed dip next to him as Alec sat down, caressing Magnus’ face. Magnus understood that Alec had been too scared to forget the current state of their relationship. They were still very much divorced and separated from each other. But, at that moment, Magnus let himself be cared for by his ex-husband. He even went to the extent of enjoying this closeness to the Lightwood boy.

Alec lifted their hands up and pressed it on his chest, heaving a huge sigh of relief. “You scared the hell out of us...”, Alec whispered. “But I am glad you’re safe... never do that to us again, Magnus. Never. I can’t lose you again...”, he added, smiling. Magnus rolled his eyes under his lids, still feeling tired and weak. He was about to say something back to Alec to make him feel better when he felt Alec’s grip loosen around his hand. He looked back at Alec who was staring at Magnus with an awkward horror on his face. The horror of realization.

“I am sorry”, he whispered and let Magnus’ hand go. Magnus looked between his sweaty hand and Alec’s face as the latter stood up and stepped away from him. “I just meant that I am glad you’re ok. I’ll find Cat and tell her that you’ve woken up. Take care...”, he blabbered and ran out without waiting for Magnus’ reply. Magnus threw his head back on the pillow, something in his heart aching.

Cat found Alec in the hallway. He was panting with fear and anxiety. She kind of understood that something must have gone wrong with Magnus and when Alec requested to be given permission to leave, she let him go while she proceeded to bring food to Magnus who hadn’t eaten anything all day.

In the middle of their random conversations, Magnus stealthily threw a question about Alec’s whereabouts. Cat squinted her eyes at him and told him that Alec had gone back home. She also told him that he stayed for as long as Magnus was asleep and therefore, must have been exhausted.

\-----

Magnus saw Alec again, over a week later, when he accompanied Izzy to Cat’s café for their brunch. He was a little more than just happy to see him even though he knew that Alec had been going out with this Travis guy who was Cat’s new neighbor and someone who Magnus did not like. It was a chilly winter morning and Alec was clad in muffler when he entered the café. One by one, he removed his layers and revealed a dark purple button up shirt that was open in the chest region. Magnus was preparing a sandwich for another table when he froze, gazing Alec. He was brought back to his senses by Izzy who ordered their usual milkshakes with bagels this time.

Magnus was eager to know what happened when Alec went out on a date with Travis and he was mad at Cat because she wouldn’t reveal anything which made Magnus doubt if she even knew anything. He noticed Izzy finish her breakfast and leave with Simon while Alec was stranded alone with his paper rolls and novel.

“Magnus, you’re staring”, Cat whispered in his ears. Magnus frowned and glared at her.

“I am not. And even if I were, it is none of your business Cat”, he grunted.

“Wow, you’re being nice today”, she raised a brow.

“I am sorry...”, Magnus pouted, looking away. “I guess I’ll just go and inspect the two places that Ragnor shortlisted for me”, he shrugged removing his apron.

“You do that”, Cat smiled.

Magnus grabbed his coat and tied the belt tightly around his waist. Wrapping a scarf around his neck, he reached for the door.

“Magnus...?”, he heard Alec calling him back. Magnus smiled and turned to him.

“Hi...”, he whispered.

“Are you going somewhere?”, Alec stood up grabbing his rolls with him.

“Yeah, Ragnor shortlisted a few places I could possibly rent to start my business. So, I thought I would just go and inspect them. Cat was kind enough to give me a day off”, Magnus shrugged.

“Oh... ohh... ok, carry on. Have a good time?”, Alec smiled and ran out of the café avoiding any further conversations with the man. Magnus left the breath he was so nervously holding and hauled a cab for himself.

It was roughly lunch time when Magnus finished recceing the places he could prospectively rent. He was hungry enough and instinctively reached the corner of a street where a hot dog stand was. He narrowed his brows, not realizing why he had walked down here or how did he even know there’d be a food stall here. He somehow, just knew. Ordering a hot dog for himself, he turned around to see the queue. A few men apart, right under the sunlight, he spotted Alec again. Damn you, destiny. Magnus bit his lips and dropped his head.

Should he approach Alec? Or should he just pretend to have not noticed him.

“Alec?”, he snapped his head up and called out. Right, he should totally notify Alec that he was there too. Alec craned his neck to see where he was being called from and his eyes widened when he saw Magnus.

“What are you doing here?”, Alec shouted back. The people around him shot him an annoying look and Alec licked his lips.

Magnus grabbed his hotdog and reached Alec. “I was just looking for a few places around here”, he shrugged. He accompanied Alec as the queue moved forward and Alec placed his order.

“So, did you find something worth your liking?”, Alec asked, holding his hotdog and coffee in his hands. They found a stone bench and sat down, placing their food on the bench.

“No... I don’t think there’s anything to my taste here. Ragnor is being very patient with me, but I just don’t... it doesn’t feel alright. There’s always something missing. Something I can’t even notice”, Magnus informed, sighing. “I might just have to go back to Seattle if I can’t find a place...”, he admitted.

“Hmm”, Alec hummed. He didn’t want Magnus to leave but he knew that it wasn’t his place to say anything. “If you don’t mind, I could show you a few places during the coming weekend. I know of a few friends who are waiting for their shop to get rented. And you might just..., you know?”, Alec offered.

“I suppose I could try. There’s no harm in that”, Magnus shrugged.

“Great, I’ll see you on Saturday then? So... how are you recovering well from the stroke?”, Alec changed the topic.

“Oh...right, I am fine. It was just a momentarily lapse of consciousness. I am doing ok”, Magnus smiled, biting into his hotdog.

“I am happy to hear it. And I am sorry again for making you feel awkward. It wasn’t my intention”, Alec swallowed.

“You don’t have to apologize, Alexander... I am alright. Thank you for being there and helping... Cat... helping her take care of me”, Magnus smiled. Alec’s eyes popped open when he heard his full name from Magnus’ mouth, but he chose to ignore it. “How...how was your date?”, Alec felt Magnus’ breath hitch as he asked.

“My date...?”, Alec widened his eyes.

“With... Cat’s neighbor...”, Magnus looked away.

“Oh... oh... that. Yeah... it was ok I think”, Alec lifted his shoulder pushing the thought of that night away.

“Good... good...that is good. You should... get out... good... very good”, he stammered. Alec narrowed his brows. Magnus was behaving oddly, to say the least. “Do you...do you work here?”, he changed topics.

“Yeah, that building over there”, Alec pointed in one direction across the road. “It’s my own firm. I am an architect”, Alec informed.

“Right yeah... Dad told me...”, Magnus shook his head, taking a sip from his coffee.

“Do you want to go and sit in my office? I’ll call you a cab from there, to take you back to Brooklyn?”, Alec offered, not quite understanding why.

“Yeah, sure. If it isn’t too much to ask!”, Magnus pursed his lips.

After eating their lunch together, Magnus followed Alec to his firm. Some people looked up and smiled at him, as if they recognized him. That made Magnus uncomfortable. He pushed a glass door into a big and well-lit office. Magnus looked around in awe. It was beautifully designed – considering Alec was an architect. There were rolls of paper spread out on a long table in one corner and a few measuring equipment lying atop. Alec went around the table and sat on his chair. He dialed his secretary who came in rushing through the door.

“Can you call a cab for Magnus?”, Alec asked with a smile on his face. The girl, with a high ponytail and diary in her hand, looked at Magnus and grinned.

“It’s so good to see you Magnus!”, she smiled. Magnus looked between her and Alec and dropped his head down in guilt. How much had he forgotten!

“Jessie! I asked you to call a cab. Magnus is running late for his work”, Alec cleared his throat, coming to Magnus’ rescue.

“Right...sure, boss. Just a second. To Brooklyn Bridge?”, she confirmed. Alec and Magnus hummed a reply in unison and Jessie left the room to confirm the bookings. Magnus walked around his office for a bit and then sat on a chair in front of Alec as the latter dove into his work.

“I am not sure if it is the right thing to do...”, Magnus cleared his throat to attract Alec’s attention. Alec looked up from his papers and dropped his pencil on the table. “But, would you be able to help with the designing of my new restaurant. Your work, is impressive to say the least...”, Magnus awed. Alec’s cheeks flushed red as he looked around his office in pride.

“Why thank you, Magnus. And to answer your question, I’d love to”, he nodded.

 

_“Oh my God, Alexander. This is amazing...”, Magnus awed at the hall in front of him. It was Alec’s recent assignment – a large hall for an orphanage. It was also the first time Magnus and Alec had gone out after officially becoming boyfriends._

_Alec smiled and squeezed Magnus’ hand which were interlocked in his. Magnus turned around to face him and lifted himself on his toes. He cupped Alec’s cheek in one hand and crashed his lips on his. Alec stepped forward and grabbed Magnus’ waist, pulling him closer._

_“I love you...”, Magnus whispered against Alec’s lips. Alec gasped and widened his brows._

_“I love you too”, he kissed his boyfriend’s cheek._

Magnus flickered his eyes when he felt Alec snapping fingers in front of him. He looked at Alec who had a horrified look on his face. Right, they were in Alec’s office in his firm. It was nothing else.

“Are you alright? Magnus?!?”, Alec called again. His stance depicted that he was ready to hold Magnus if the latter passed out again.

“I am... fine. I just... I just had a...”, Magnus coughed.  _A vision._ He’d been having so many of those lately that he had almost lost count.

“Your cab is here”, Alec informed, stepping away from Magnus. Magnus nodded and got up. Without uttering anything else, he ran out of Alec’s office and got into the cab that took him back home.

\-----

Alec strolled in Cat’s house on the next Saturday morning to pick Magnus up for their recce. Catarina was getting ready to leave for her day at her café and Magnus must have been in his room because the living area was empty when Alec walked in. He called out to Cat and she hummed a reply, asking him to make himself comfortable while she readied herself. Magnus, however, was the one who came out of his room adjusting his clothes. Alec was at the table, grabbing candies from the bowl. Cat had to keep those handy because Alec had such a ridiculous sweet tooth.

“Morning”, Magnus smiled, adjusting his ear-cuff. Alec looked up from the table and his lips parted seeing Magnus. His ex-husband wore a dark purple color silk shirt over tight black pants. There was dark muffler around his neck and a long overcoat on his hand.

“Good morning”, Alec whispered, shaking his head. Magnus was surreal to look at. But, Alec knew that, and he also knew that he couldn’t do a thing about it. He was still staring at him when Cat smacked his back rather harshly. Way to bring back to senses, Kitty... Alec thought.

“So... I was saying that now that you’re here, why don’t you drop me to the café on your way to wherever it is that you’re taking Magnus. It’s better than taking a subway... right Alec?”, she glared. Alec frowned and nodded, humming a reply. Cat grabbed her bag and keys triumphantly and followed the boys out locking the apartment. Magnus and Cat proceeded ahead and had reached the reception on the ground floor when they saw that Alec wasn’t following them anymore. Magnus volunteered to go back and check on him and found the man talking to Cat’s neighbor, Travis. Magnus’ nostrils flared for some reason, and he hid behind the door panel to observe them.

Travis was standing very close to Alec, holding him by the buckle of the latter’s belt. Alec’s lips were pursed together, and a small smile was sweeping across his face. Magnus leaned closer, annoyed with how comfortable Alec had become with Cat’s neighbor.

“I was hoping we could do it again...”, Travis began. Magnus narrowed his brows and peered closer to have a clear sound.  _Do what exactly._ Magnus thought, and uneasiness gripped him

“Do what...?”, Alec played along.

“Drinks... date... pool night... I had a very good time, in a very long time. And I would love to go on a second date... of course, that is if you liked going out me too?”, Travis admitted. Alec scoffed.

“I did... I had fun... I think”, he added.

“So... Lightwood? Wanna do it again this Friday... maybe, this time... we can have the date indoors. Your place or mine? You decide... I am ok with anything...”, he stepped closer. Alec stiffened and stammered.

“Uhh, I’ll swing by your place. Friday at 7?”, he asked, as if trying to avoid Travis from coming any closer.

“Friday, deal”, Travis grinned and caught Alec’s face pulling it closer to himself when Magnus just couldn’t take it further. He stepped back and pretended to just walk in on the two having a moment.

“Alec, what’s taking you so long?”, Magnus asked, rather loudly and Travis stepped away. Alec cleared his throat and wrapped his arms around himself.

“I was just... I...”, he whispered.

“Oh, did I interrupt something? I am so sorry. It is just that Cat is getting restless.”, Magnus gasped, his pretend game going strong.

“No... no... I was just talking to Travis. I’ll be... I am coming, Magnus”, Alec said, defensively. He turned to the other boy, “Travis... I’ll see you this Friday!”, he said and walked out, pushing Magnus away from his path slightly.

Magnus turned around and sighed in relief. His eyes fell on his reflection in the glass wall and Magnus noticed a small smile appearing on his lips. He followed Alec to the car and took the backseat.

\-----

“This is the first place I wanted you to have a look at. One of our old friends, Carmen recently moved to Boston and she vacated this place, sort of leaving me in charge”, Alec extended his hand showing the place to Magnus. It was a huge hall with glass walls all around. It was located on the corner of the street and the interiors were based on Colonial London – something Alec knew Magnus was very passionate about.

“It is large, open, well-ventilated and very you...”, Alec smiled walking back to a pillar and leaning on it. Magnus gasped as he walked out. Alec did know him and his interests like the back of his hand. It was strange to observe it up front.

“There are two more... but I thought that you’d like this one the best... so?”, Alec crossed his hands on his chest and waited for Magnus to say something.

“What... did you... did you tell Carmen about me... and by me, I mean...  _me..._ ”, Magnus closed his eyes realizing that he was being cryptic with his words.

“I did... I did... she says that she’d love to talk to you on a Skype call... to understand your needs better... and you can get to know her then”, he shrugged. Magnus’ heart melted. He wanted to run to Alec and hug him. Thank him for being so nice and gentle about everything.

“I love it...”, Magnus managed to say with tears in his eyes. Alec noticed the change in Magnus’ voice and he stepped closer, covering the distance between the two of them. The older man looked at Alec and gave in to his emotions, jumping forward to hug Alec and wrap his arms tightly around him. Alec stepped back a little as he felt the weight of Magnus all over him. “Thank you, Alec. You’ve no idea how much this means to me... I don’t have to go back to Seattle... I can stay here...”, he cried, burying his face in Alec’s neck. Alec smiled softly and rubbed the back of Magnus’ head.

“I am glad. I didn’t want you to go either...”, he admitted in a very soft tone. Magnus’ eyes popped open hearing that and he pulled away from Alec, looking straight into the latter’s gorgeous hazel eyes. His hands were curled around Alec’s shoulders who was holding Magnus close to him by his waist. His hazels were deep and beautiful, and they represented pain and longing when Magnus looked into them.

“Thank you”, he announced, again. Alec smiled on Magnus’ shoulder, knowing that this moment was temporary, and the reality was still the same painful truth. Magnus had no memories of him.

“I’ll take that you will talk to Carmen... do you want to go check out the other places... for namesake?”, Alec asked. Magnus thought for a while and then nodded. More so because it meant spending the day with Alec and Magnus was getting used to enjoying Alec’s company more than he should have.

“Ok. I mean, I don’t want your friends accusing you of not showing me the places...”, he said, defensively.

“Yeah... yeah!”, Alec whispered.

They continued their day visiting the other places Alec had sought to show Magnus. They had been carefully curated by the boy and by the time they reached their fifth place, Magnus was thoroughly confused. All those places were to Magnus’ liking and yet so unique in their own identity. Each place had a different thing that appeased Magnus and he was now uncertain which place to finalize. They stopped midway to grab lunch at the same hotdog stand.

Magnus not only grew accustomed to Alec’s company, but they shared meaningful conversations about everything ranging from politics to sports. Magnus was pleasantly taken aback because of the level to which Alec knew and understood him and he began to partially understand why his older self must have fallen for this hazel-eyed boy. He was so pure and transparent. His eyes, no matter how hard Alec tried, could never hide the love he had for Magnus. Seeing that love scared Magnus sometimes but amazed him all the other times.

It was dusk by the time they returned to Cat’s house. Alec dropped dead on the couch while Magnus made sandwiches and poured juice for the both of them. Alec turned the television on as Magnus sat on the couch next to him. He had reached his threshold of holding back his feelings. Distracting himself with crappy reality TV could possibly help him deal with it.

“You ever think about what would have happened had I not lost my memories”, Magnus muttered under his breath and Alec’s finger stopped pressing buttons on the remote. He swallowed and looked at Magnus who was staring at his ringed fingers in his lap. “Or just... did you ever talk about the whole thing with someone. Nobody ever talks about what happened to you... and it is not fair”, he continued.

“I just had a few broken ribs...”, Alec tried to explain when Magnus grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

“You know that is  _not_ what I meant, Alexander”, Magnus sighed and lifted his head up to look at Alec.

“Yes...”, Alec answered. Magnus narrowed his brows in confusion. “I do think about what would have happened if we were still together all this time... and you had your memories intact. And I did talk to Izzy about the accident. If you haven’t already noticed, she isn’t the type of person who’d let her brooding of a brother go through this alone.”, he admitted and looked away, fearing an adverse reaction from his ex-husband.

“I am...”

“Don’t be sorry, Magnus. This isn’t your fault. You need to know that. If it is anyone’s fault at all... it is  _mine._ ”, Alec took a deep breath and turned to face Magnus, leaning his shoulder on the backrest of the couch. “You know...you did not want to go out that weekend...”, he felt a lump in his throat. “You were so adamant that you wanted to stay in and enjoy watching the Bachelor all day...to catch up with the latest season...”, Alec chuckled, and Magnus noticed tears forming in his eyes. “I forced you to go away with me and camp... And I sometimes think that... had I just listened to you... just agreed to stay in for the weekend”, his voice cracked. “Had I not emotionally blackmailed you...”, Alec pursed his lips, “...things would be so different. You’d still remember me... for starters”, Alec shut his eyes and tears squeezed out.

Magnus found his eyes moistening as he sat there watching Alec break down in front of him.

 

_“You know what...Alexander? I’ll make you pay for this... you’ll pay for this”, Magnus struggled in Alec’s arms as the latter proceeded to their car. “I just wanted a weekend in. You are so mean...”, Magnus huffed, wrapping his arms around his husband. Alec rolled his eyes and dropped Magnus on the front seat. He went back in to their house and came back a while later with two duffle bags._

_Magnus crossed his hands on his chest as they took to the highway on the Friday afternoon. It was going to be another long and adventurous weekend for the Lightwood-Banes._

Magnus gasped and opened his eyes. Alec was still crying in front of him. Magnus leaned forward and cupped Alec’s face in his hands, unaware of what this was doing to Alec.

“You didn’t force me... I am sure of it. If I loved you as much as the people here and these circumstances make me believe, I must have loved everything you did for me... it is not on you, Alec. It is not your fault”, he assured, in the best way he could.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been over 2 months since Magnus returned to New York. With the help of Alec, he finally rented Carmen’s place and Alec began working on the renovations of the place to suit Magnus’ requirements and needs. Magnus eventually moved out from Cat’s apartment in Brooklyn into a loft that was attached to the restaurant property. During this time, Alec and Magnus met multiple times, for business and otherwise. They saw each other at Cat’s parties, monthly game nights and whenever Alec went to Travis while Magnus was still living with Cat. It bothered the shit out of the older man, but he had no right to say anything to Alec. Alec was trying to move on and build a new life for himself after Magnus had himself pushed him away. And if that meant that Travis was going to be a part of his life, Magnus had to learn to respect that. Although, there was nothing concrete between Travis and Alec, even after going on over five dates. But Magnus was no one to judge... any of it. They were still trying to figure it out... or _Alec_ was trying to figure it out.

Nevertheless, Alec’s association with Travis didn’t stop Magnus from development a deep dislike for the guy. Every time they bumped into each other on the hallway, Magnus made sure he passed some sugar-coated snide remark at him, just to ease his heart that ached more and more every passing day. He had no right to feel anything for Alec, or so he thought. But, somewhere deep down, he didn’t like men getting closer to Alec... or vice versa. Cat noticed him and his behavior towards Travis, but she let it go, hoping that Magnus would come clean with her... some day! His visions about the supposed flashbacks grew all the more frequent and Magnus realized that most of them were memories from the time that he had forgotten. They featured Alec – well most of them did and those that didn’t, featured him speaking of Alec to someone else.

“That is partially the reason I decided to move back to New York. To find answers, Cat. To find who I am... and what Alec Lightwood means to the Magnus Bane I used to be. And I knew I wouldn’t find these answers in Seattle with Dad constantly over my head to take rest and have juice and healthy food... It’s been 3 years since the accident, I am perfectly fine. I don’t need supervision anymore. And if I am not fine, I won’t get better now. My body has healed as much as it could.”, Magnus sighed, putting his drink down on the table as he sat on the other end from Cat.

“You are telling me that you are getting your _memories_ back... in flashes? You are remembering the missing parts of your life...”, Cat cleared her throat and blinked rapidly. This was good news. The doctors had told them earlier that Magnus’ memories hadn’t been erased and there hadn’t been any permanent damage to his hippocampus, but they had been blocked out due to trauma and there was always a miniscule chance that he could get them back if the block somehow lifted.

“Yeah... yeah, I think so. Those visions don’t look like dreams or fantasies. They’re very real. Very vivid and real and sometimes they just scare me to death. They all have Alec... and I don’t know what to do because he is just so...”, Magnus admitted, recalling the one he had when Alec had told him about his unwillingness to go camping the weekend they had their accident.

“Have you told Alec about it? About... about these memory visions...”, Cat shot her next obvious question that made Magnus roll his eyes.

“Of course, I haven’t, Cat. How can I tell this to Alexander of all people?”, Magnus gasped. “He’s been through enough drama because of me and now that he is finally moving on with someone else”, Magnus frowned, thinking about Travis. “I am not pulling him back for some stupid visions that might not mean anything. I mean, it’s not like I remember everything about him... or us. I certainly don’t remember being in love with him... and I might never... so, I can’t give him hope only to shatter it all over again.”, Magnus added, definitively. Cat smiled, seeing the growing concern for Alec in Magnus’ heart which she doubted if he was himself aware of.

“I know... I just thought... now that you and he are comfortable with each other and friends, for that matter... that you’d tell him about these visions”, she shrugged. “He’s the one person who could corroborate and tell you if they’re real... or... just something your mind is making you see...”

“Believe me... I want to. I want to talk to him about these so-called memories. Like you said, only he can tell me if they’re real or it is just a figment of my imagination. But I don’t think that talking to Alec would solve anything for me. It won’t solve anything for him, for sure. He’s a great guy and a very good friend... and I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have”. That’s true. Cat knew that in all this stupid drama, Alec was the one who had suffered the most. “Now that I have gotten to know him again, I can only imagine what he must have gone through reading that letter I sent him... along with the divorce papers, Cat. He must have been destroyed...”, Magnus shut his eyes recapitulating what he had written in the letter.

“Don’t put this on yourself, Magnus. It wasn’t your fault that that drunk driver drove his lorry into your car and it is not your fault that you lost your memories after that awful injury. We’re all, including Alec, glad that you’re alive with us. And he is also glad that you’re back, even if it is super hard for him...”, Cat shuddered remembering Alec and Magnus tied to tubes and machines when they found them at the hospital after the accident. “I don’t think Alec blames you for wanting a divorce either. I know he was heartbroken when he saw that letter and it’s fair. You are the love of his life...”, Magnus tried to not linger on the ‘ _are_ ’ that Cat had let slip. “He was devastated but he understood why you did what you did... and he is a strong boy. Also, we’re all there for him, including yourself...”, she tilted her head.

“I know that. But I can’t help but think...”

“Don’t. Don’t think about it. It is all in the past. You can’t do anything to change it. So just... let it go”

“Mm. I forgot about the most of my past, can’t really let go what I do remember. It’s all I have... all that is left of Magnus Bane and the guy I used to be.”, Magnus dropped his head down to stare at his drink. He knew in his heart that Alec would rush back to him the moment he told him about these visions and Magnus didn’t want that. He didn’t want Alec to have his expectations crushed once again when he himself wasn’t sure if he would ever get his feelings back too.

\-----

It was another games and movie night at Cat’s house on a Saturday evening and everyone was waiting for Alec to show up so that they could start off their party. Alec was supposedly on a date with Travis next door, but he had promised to show up for games night after that. Jace and Clary had decided to skip this one because they were in Iowa to celebrate Clary’s parents’ wedding anniversary. Izzy and Simon had just returned from their shifts at the hospital while Magnus had taken a day off from the renovation at his new restaurant property. He also hadn’t met Alec in over a week and he was particularly excited to see him because he had missed his stupid face and just being around him while Alec worked. Lately, they had been spending a lot of time together because Alec was the chief architect on the assignment. Magnus missed him so much that it was pretty evident on his own.

His face, therefore, naturally lit up when he saw Alec drop his coat at the door as he made his way in. Everyone yelled at him for being so late and he just raised a brow and crossed his hands on his chest, “I just broke up with Travis. Be a little considerate?”, he announced. Izzy scoffed it away with an “I knew this was gonna happen sooner or later” face and there was a genuine smile on Simon’s face. Alec rolled his eyes because he knew how fond people were of his boyfriend. “I guess that calls for celebration considering how much you loved him. Pass me on a drink please... I’d love one tonight”, he taunted. The gang booed him together while Magnus was more than relieved to hear it... and he was cursing himself for feeling this way.

“Did he burp while eating or click his tongue to summon the waiter at a restaurant...?”, he said, absent-mindedly. Alec gasped loudly because Magnus wasn’t supposed to know that. At least _this_ Magnus wasn’t.  He shouldn’t have had those memories in the first place. Magnus couldn’t tell him that he had had a vision about them going on a date a few days ago and it had fluffed his heart with so much happiness.

“Among other things... yes. He did click his tongue and snapped his fingers to call the waiter.”, Alec narrowed his brows taking a seat next to his ex-husband. Magnus inwardly slapped himself for blurting out his thoughts rather loudly.

“I am so sorry that came out wrong... are you... are you ok?”, Magnus realized that taunting Alec wasn’t the best way to start a conversation with someone who had just broken up. Boyfriend or not, Alec and Travis did like each other, and break ups were never not heartbreaking.

“Don’t be...”, Alec smiled at him and then looked back at his drink. “It was bound to happen sooner or later...”, he shrugged it off, lifting his glass up to take a sip.

“If you want to talk about it... I am here!”, Magnus’ hand found Alec’s fingers under the table and he wrapped his own around them, squeezing them slightly. Alec swallowed and looked at Magnus, his eyes searching for Magnus’ old self somewhere in Magnus’ eyes. He momentarily stared at his ex-husband and then looked away, shutting his eyes and the pain away.

“Thank you for saying that”, he mumbled under his breath.

They moved ahead with game-night while Alec explained the other reasons why things went wrong with Travis. Other than being wildly possessive and obsessive, Travis did not like Alec hanging out with Magnus because apparently, Magnus eyed Alec more than he should have. This conversation happened rather softly and just between the two men. Nobody other than Izzy heard the rest of why Alec and Travis weren’t together, because Alec’s sister had super sharp hearing.

“I mean seriously... Magnus? I did tell him about you and me but that was because I wanted to be honest to him, about my past... and everything that he deserved to know. But, he just took them to a completely different angle”, Alec scoffed as he narrated the details and rubbished any such accusations on Magnus because he had forgotten everything for them to have any connection with each other. Magnus cleared his throat and continued to fake a smile even though he knew that he hadn’t been completely honest with his ex-husband either.

“It is ok, big brother. Travis was an ok guy to be a fling... don’t be bothered now... not everyone is marriage material...”, Izzy winked and added, and then closed her eyes as both Alec and Magnus became awkward. Too soon.

After game night, everyone gathered around the TV and Cat put on the latest installment of Conjuring. Alec and Magnus settled below the couch together, wrapping their legs in a single blanket.

“I _fucking_ hate horror movies”, Magnus cringed as the title rolled in. Alec chortled softly and leaned closer to Magnus. “Cat always makes me do this... I don’t see the reason why we can’t watch a romcom or I don’t know... action movie for that matter”, he complained, and Alec just hit his shoulder with his fist.

“I know. Just close your eyes when there’s creepy background music and you’ll be fine... My hand is always here for you to break it off squealing”, he whispered, hiding a naughty smile under his nose. Magnus looked at Alec under the blue hue of the movie that was hitting Alec’s face amidst the darkness in the room. His big hazel eyes were staring right through Magnus’ soul with a knowing look in them – a look that Magnus had gotten used to. Alec knew things about Magnus that he himself was still rediscovering and somewhere between meeting Alec at Cat’s birthday party till today, Magnus had gotten used to being amazed by this man. He even stopped asking Alec about how he knew certain things about him because the question felt stupid – Alec knew everything about Magnus. He smiled and looked back towards the television, shifting a little closer to Alec. Alec extended his hand out on the couch and Magnus threw his head back, resting his neck on his biceps. It felt familiar and normal and Magnus was surprised as to how much he wanted this for himself.

Somewhere during the movie, Magnus and Alec shifted dangerously close to each other and Magnus buried his face in Alec’s neck. Alec curled his hand back and wrapped his arm around Magnus’ shoulder and rested his cheek on his hair as they continued watching the movie. Cat and Izzy noticed them and smiled – things were feeling and looking normal in a very long time.

By the time the credits rolled in, Magnus was snoring on Alec’s chest. Alec rubbed his eyes sleepily and pulled his hand away to gently leave without waking Magnus up, but Cat yawned and told him to stay put and leave in the morning. It would be a bad idea to drive when you’re so tired and also slightly tipsy. She threw two pillows at him and an extra blanket and turned the lights off. Alec placed one below on the ground and pushed another one under Magnus until his head rested on it. He took his legs out of the blanket they were sharing and wrapped it around Magnus. Placing his own pillow next to Magnus, Alec pulled the fresh blanket over him and dosed off.

Sun rays hit Magnus’ eyes and woke him up early in the morning before anyone else did. He groaned and stretched his hand out and yawned. Sunday morning – what a lovely thing to wake up to! He smiled at the thought and opened his eyes to find Alec’s face right in front of him. He jerked back when he realized that Alec was sleeping next to him with his body turned towards the older man. Magnus inspected his surroundings and found him comfortably resting on a pillow which was tucked very close to Alec’s pillow. Izzy and Simon were cuddled together on the couch while Ragnor was sleeping on the other end of the carpet.

He lifted his hand gently and placed his palm on Alec’s cheek reveling his sharp cheekbones. Alec’s eyes were only half-closed, and he was snoring softly. His skin was soft and smooth. It was slightly warm, and Magnus felt his arteries thumping below his touch. Magnus cupped his cheek and used his thumb to make circles below Alec’s eyes. His eyelids fluttered, and he cuddled further into the pillow, almost startling Magnus. Alec was in deep sleep and he looked so beautiful.

“What are you Alec Lightwood?”, Magnus moaned in his raspy morning voice. He was beginning to notice why his other self must have fallen so recklessly in love with his hazel-eyed architect. His eyes went down to Alec’s lips which were the perfect shade of pink and peach. They looked plump and soft and so kissable. He used to call the missing five years of his life as his _other life._ And, Magnus was sure that he had kissed Alec multiple times in this said other life, but the depressing thing was – he didn’t remember how it felt to have Alec’s lips between his own. “What have you done to me...?”, he moaned and pressed the tip of his nose against Alec’s unaware of what was driving him to feel this way for Alec.

Two years ago, Magnus’ life had turned upside down when Asmodeus revealed his husband to him. Up till then, he knew that he had lost a few years of his life but knowing that he had lost memories of the man he had been in love with scared Magnus so much that he decided to send divorce papers to this Alec Lightwood to get rid of any and all the thoughts that concerned Magnus about Alec.

Magnus leaned closer to Alec and trailed his fingers up to Alec’s hair to move it away from his forehead. Crease lines appeared on Alec’s forehead and he twitched in his sleep, in response to Magnus’.

 

_Alec walked into his apartment after work and found a bunch of letters in mailbox. He took them out and started shuffling through them, reading the sender’s details until a particular letter from Seattle caught his attention. It was sent by Magnus. Alec’s eyes gleamed with joy and he tore apart the seal. There were a couple of neatly folded papers inside. He opened the one that was written in Magnus’ handwriting first._

Mr Lightwood, (Alec’s heart sank right there)

I have a feeling that you might have been waiting for this letter or a phone call for over a year now and I would like to begin by apologizing for not doing so earlier. My father just told me about... about you... a few weeks ago... and I wanted to take some time before I contacted you with my decision. I know I should have rather called if not meeting you face-to-face, but I don’t think I would have been able to say what I am about to, out loud. So, please forgive me for what has already happened and what I am about to do right now. The last year has been a trying time for me and my family. But you already know that. I hope you yourself have recovered from the accident and are in excellent health right now.

Dad showed me our wedding photographs a couple days ago and believe me, I was surprised to say the least. I wasn’t able to imagine myself as a man who had decided to settle down in his life, but I apparently did. Anyway. It’s truly devastating that I don’t remember any of our time together otherwise this wouldn’t be as difficult for me as it is right now. I thought about meeting you so that we can talk personally but I realized I couldn’t do it either because I have nothing to say to you except that I am sorry for how things have become. None of us deserved that.

Its been a year since the accident and my memories are still on the loose. I have lost hopes and patience that I will ever get them back and I cannot ask you to wait for me any longer than you already have. You don’t owe me that. You are free to move on and live your life to the fullest, Alec. I also cannot keep myself tethered to the past that I know nothing about because the mere thought of it is revolting. So, I am enclosing divorce papers with this letter. You should find someone who can love you back, Alec. Not someone who is struggling to remember what he did in the last 5 years. It is not fair to you.

I hope you will understand my decision as well as where I am coming from. I only want the best for you and for myself. I hope you will have a happy life ahead, Alec. You deserve to be loved.

Magnus Bane.

  _Alec stopped reading the letter and rubbed away the tears that had blurred his vision. His hands were shaking by the time he found the courage to unfold the other set of papers. They were indeed divorce papers which had already been signed by Magnus. Alec sucked his trembling lip inside and lifted his head up. He watched the ceiling while tears trickled down and closed his eyes shut._

Magnus was playing with Alec’s hair when the latter’s eyes shot open all of a sudden, shocking Magnus who jerked back suddenly retracting his hand. Alec’s breathing was rather heavy, and his forehead was sticky with sweat. He looked at Magnus in horror and then instinctively leaned closer, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Magnus gasped and rubbed the back of Alec’s head with his palm with the other making comforting patters on his back

“Hey... what’s wrong?”, Magnus whispered, caressing his head with his fingers. “Alec? Are you alright...?”

“I had a very... very bad nightmare”, he mumbled in his raspy voice. “There was this... this... forest and we were camping... you and I together... and then and then you just disappeared saying that you’ll get us water to drink... but you... disappeared into the fog, Magnus. I called your name... so many times... I did... Magnus but you did not reply... and the fog was engulfing me, and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe or stop thinking about you... And then you screamed...”

“I am here... I am here, Alec. Look at me...”, Magnus cupped Alec’s face and patted his cheeks softly to wake him up. “Alec...”, Magnus hissed, and the younger boy stopped shivering. “It was just a bad dream... come on! Wake up... There’s no forest and the fog has not done anything to me. I am here, in front of you.”, he pulled Alec closer and pushed his head into his neck. They remained curled up in one another until Alec’s breathing evened and he calmed down. The architect gently pulled away from Magnus and sat up straight on the floor.

“I am sorry...”, he closed his eyes with his palm, guilt flooded in every word he said. “I am sorry...”, he repeated and stood up before Magnus could reply. Grabbing his coat from the hook, he opened the door and left Catarina’s house.

\-----

Magnus looked at his phone and then at the building in front of him, that definitely looked like the address that Cat had given. Magnus hadn’t seen Alec since last Sunday when he had dashed out of Cat’s place after being embarrassed about the nightmares. The chef was anxious as well as eager to see the hazel-eyed boy and talk it out so that things went back to being less awkward. He knew Alec would be home because he had attempted to check his firm that morning and Alec’s assistant had informed him that _Mr Lightwood_ was working from home for the last couple of days.

Magnus knocked at the door and waited anxiously as he heard footsteps approaching. His heart was throbbing in his chest at the prospect of meeting Alec after such a long time – well, okay, just three days. But that was beside the point. Alec stuck his head out after unlocking the door and his sick face was both surprised and shocked to see Magnus. Magnus, on the other hand, cheekily smiled as if gesturing _“surprise!”._

“What are you... how did you...? Cat gave you the address, didn’t she?”, he sighed. His cough-clogged voice was so adorable. Magnus lifted his brows realizing that Alec had a severe flu. Alec lifted the tissue he was holding and sneezed into it. “You shouldn’t be here... I have...”, and he sneezed again before completing his statement.

“Flu...”, Magnus completed the sentence for him. “You mind?”, Magnus raised a brow and pushed the door open. Alec stepped aside as Magnus conveniently entered his apartment, hanging the coat on his way. There were blankets and sweaters scattered on the sofas and the couch. Papers, rulers and blueprints were dispersed all around the table where Alec assumingly worked. Magnus looked around the apartment. It was a studio with an open kitchen area. One of the walls was completely covered in glass and Manhattan was beautifully visible from when you withdrew the curtains. Magnus stopped in his tracks and turned back to find Alec following him, albeit with very short steps, to keep his distance. The entire furnishing of the house was in white board and it was classy and reeked of Alec’s taste.

“I had taken a flu shot the last time I went to see the doctor. I’ll be fine, Alexander. You look like you need some help... and caring. Also, we need to talk... about my restaurant but... that can wait.”, Magnus tilted his head and smiled. Alec nodded and closed his eyes involuntarily to sneeze again. Magnus snapped his eyes shut with reflex with Alec’s sneeze. “I went to your firm this morning. Your assistant told me that you were working from home. Now, I understand why. Were you resting? Did I disturb your sleep or something?”, Magnus inquired.

“NO!”, he responded. “I was actually working... working on the building plans for your restaurant. This flu... isn’t letting me go out to the firm for work... and I can’t postpone assignments any longer than I already have...”, Alec sighed, dropping wearily on the couch. Magnus clicked his tongue and leaned forward to feel Alec’s forehead. It was slightly warmer than usual.

“You also have a slight fever... do you know that?”, Magnus reprimanded.

“I am alright. It will go away soon. Can’t really do anything about it, right!”, Alec mumbled, throwing his head back on the backrest. “What are you doing here though?”, he shot his eyes open and craned back to locate Magnus who was now standing on his kitchen counter looking for something in his cabinets.

“I came to check on you. You haven’t spoken to me all week...”, Magnus exclaimed and then stopped, clearing his throat. “I mean... about the building plans...and such. The last time I saw you... you ran out of Cat’s apartment on a rather gorgeous Sunday morning”, he corrected himself. Alec sniffed and nodded.

“Yeah. Been a little tied up...”, he complained making Magnus chuckle. “I am also sorry for the trouble I caused at Cat’s. It was just a horrible dream and I am not making any excuses...”

“ALEC?”, Magnus interrupted. “It’s fine. Everyone has bad dreams. Don’t think too much. It is in the past. Ok? If you think that you made a fool out of yourself, you’re wrong. You’re only human, Alexander. You’re allowed some moments of letting your guards down. So, just suck it up and forget about it...”. Alec gulped and nodded, not expecting this sort of a reaction out of Magnus.

“Ah! There you are...”, Magnus face lit up as he pulled his head out of a cabinet holding a bunch of packets in his hand. Alec widened his eyes, looking at his ex-husband quizzically. “I’ll make you some soup and then we can talk about it, discuss your flu stories... I am sure you have some interesting ones... We all do, don’t we?”, Magnus winked and turned on the induction. “Cream and onion’s your favorite flavor, right?”, Magnus jumped ahead...reading the flavor from the packets that were stacked very neatly in his hands. He flipped them over hastily and picked out the one he wanted.

“Yeah...”, Alec gasped. “How do you...?”

“Uh...”, Magnus was trapped. “I...”, he panicked. “Isabelle told me... on one of our many shopping dates...”, he pretended to shrug it off. Alec nodded and turned his head back up to face the television in front of him. He closed his books and stacked the papers together to clear his work area. Lifting the remote up, he turned the television on and put National Geographic. Magnus heaved a sigh in relief. Alec had taken the bait. He wasn’t in suspicion. A while later, he brought a tray full of piping hot soup and sat on the couch next to Alec. Alec extended his hand to grab the bowl when he sneezed again, surprising Magnus into spilling a little soup out of the bowl.

“Let me...help you with that”, Magnus chuckled and pushed Alec’s shoulder back. “Half of the soup with soak your t-shirt if you attempt to drink it on your own, Alec”, he added with a chortle. He lifted the bowl in his hand and scooped a spoonful of soup. He blew air onto the spoon to cool it down and then offered it to Alec who was staring at him. The eyes were red and swollen from the flu, but they were also sad. Magnus closed his eyes for a millisecond and took a deep breath.

Alec looked at Magnus holding a spoon close to his lips and his mind wandered to the time when they would feed each other lovingly and cuddle on the bed or their favorite couch with their cat Church. Speaking of. Alec craned his neck around to locate his fluffy ball of happiness and found it rolled into itself on his bed. He had been too tired to notice Magnus walk in the apartment or else he wouldn’t have stopped purring. As he opened his mouth to take the spoonful in, he looked at Magnus who was now staring at him with his deep brown eyes.

Alec was puzzled.

There was concern in those eyes and an emotion that Alec thought he’d never see again – affection and adoration. He hadn’t seen that look in his eyes in almost half a decade and there was no way now that... He knew he was reading it all wrong. There was no way Magnus could have his memories back. It’s been far too long.

“Thanks”, he mumbled, swallowing the hot soup down his throat. The warmth of the dish brought his throat so much relief.

“Anytime”, Magnus whispered. They sat there on the couch while Magnus finished making Alec drink the soup. He cleaned the mess after they were done, and the clanking of the plates in the dishwasher woke Alec’s cat up. The little devil jumped right over the counter at the prospect of food and some mischief when the hair stood straight up as it registered an unknown entity where Alec was supposed to be. A slight purr brought Magnus’ attention to this Persian breed beauty.

“Hi...”, he gasped and smiled at the same time. Church was a beautiful and furry feline. His eyes, on the contrary, were serious but full of mischief. The cat’s hair dropped back close to its skin and his eyes widened. He knew this human. In fact, he had loved this human with all his feline heart. And might have missed him, if his nature would have so allowed. Alec watched as Church trotted close to his previous owner and softly lifted her forelimbs to climb onto him. Magnus grinned and looked at Alec who nodded and asked him to go ahead.

He wasn’t surprised. Although Church was that type of a cat who hated being picked up and carried around, but he always enjoyed when it was Magnus doing it. Alec gazed as Church played around in Magnus’ arms, just like he used to, and even craned his head up to lick Magnus’ nose who just grinned and let Church coddle him.

“Magnus... meet Church”, Alec introduced them, again.

“Hi...”, Magnus said, again but this time more adoringly. He picked Church high up in the air and then adjusted its position to cuddled it into his neck where the cat obliged. “I am sorry I forgot you... you really didn’t deserve it... neither of you did”, he whispered into his ear stealing a glance at his ex-husband. Church purred in complaint and Magnus just fell in love with the little one. “You’re so beautiful”, he exclaimed bringing Church back to the couch with himself.

“You are the only person he ever allowed to carry him around in your arms.”, Alec informed proudly.

“I feel honored Mr Church...”, Magnus told Church. The cat settled on Magnus’ lap and dozed off to sleep a few minutes after it was tired of playing with Magnus. Magnus looked at Alec who was watching the _Wild Cats_ documentary. His head was tugged in the cushion and he looked like he would fall asleep at any time.

“Alec? Do you want to go to bed maybe? You look like you’ll fall asleep any time now. Your eyes look very heavy and sleep laden.”, Magnus whispered very softly as he pressed his hand on Alec’s shoulder.

“I want to finish watching this...”, he requested, letting out a loud yawn.

“You can watch it tomorrow morning. I’ll put the series on recording for you. Come on, up now. Onto the bed, Mr Lightwood”, Magnus lifted the sleeping Church in his arms and put it down comfortably on the couch. He curled his tail around itself and purred softly snoring back to sleep. Magnus himself protested and forced Alec to sit straight up. “You’re going to doze off now and I don’t want you spraining your neck by sleeping on this rather uncomfortable cushion, Alec. Please, c’mon”, he grabbed Alec’s hand and pulled him up. Alec let out a long groan and finally stood up letting himself being dragged to the bed by Magnus.

The man helped Alec get under the covers and kneeled on the floor next to him, tucking him securely in the duvet. Alec licked his lips and closed his eyes as Magnus caressed his forehead with his fingers, removing the strands of hair that had messily fallen over.

“Thank you for coming...”, he whispered as sleep stared taking over him. “I appreciate it. I really do”, he mumbled.

“Anytime, Alexander. Anytime”, Magnus responded.

“I wish you could stay with me...”, _forever_ remained unsaid. After that, Alec tilted his head away from Magnus and dozed off whistling out a deep breath. Magnus moved his hand down to hold Alec’s palm which was pressing on his stomach. He squeezed it tightly and sat there pondering.

\-----

Three days later, Alec opened the door of his apartment in the morning and found Magnus standing in front of it, again. Two times in three days – the Lightwood boy was pleasantly surprised.

“Hi?”, he narrowed his brows uncertain if Magnus was interested in seeing him again or just discuss about his restaurant. Magnus smiled and lifted the food packet in his hand which smelled like delicious Chinese food. “Magnus... what are you doing here at this hour?”

“I heard you liked pot stickers...and I also wanted to meet you naughty little Church again...and _maybe you._ ”, Magnus admitted, excited to meet Alec’s little one who had stolen his heart on their first meeting. Well, he wasn’t the only one who had stolen Magnus’ heart, but this was a conversation to be had some other day.

“Are you kidding? I don’t just like pot stickers, Magnus... I love them!”, Alec’s eyes widened, and he snatched the packet out of the older man’s hand ignoring the _maybe you_ that Magnus had let slip out of his mouth. “Come on, in”, he yelled walking back into the apartment. “CHURCH!”, he called out to his cat. “Look who is here to see you! C’mere!!”, he lifted his chin up to find the animal and clapped softly to summon him. Church peeked out from below his bed and leaped out as soon as it registered Magnus’ image in his little mind.

Magnus’ arms were extended as he let Church jump into them. He giggled and lifted the cat up, gently rubbing through its fur. “Yeah, I missed you too, you cute-heart...”, the cat purred softly. Alec unsealed the food packet with scissors and took out two dishes to serve the food.

“You know, I was wondering... you might actually be right about the arch...”, Magnus continued, joining Alec in the kitchen as the latter was laying down food for them. He opened his other fridge and took out two beer bottles to go with the pot stickers.

“See!”, Alec yelped, triumphantly. “I understand your preferences, Magnus... the arch would have blocked a lot of sunlight and you wouldn’t have liked the gloominess. That’s just not who you are...”, he winked, clicking his tongue. Magnus lifted the beer bottle and took a large gulp. Clearing his throat, he nodded in agreement. “Is that why you brought me pot stickers though? To tell me that I am right. You could’ve done that without them... I am a very simple man, my love”, Alec bit his tongue hearing “my love” coming out of his own mouth and looked away to hide his embarrassment. That was such a Magnus thing to say. He looked away, hoping time would diminish the memories of this phrase in Magnus’ mind.

“Like I already mentioned my dear, I wanted to see if you’re recovering well and meet that little devil Church... and _then,_ if my mood permitted, maybe accept that you were right all along... it isn’t the easiest thing to do. Accept that Alec Lightwood of all people could be right...”, Magnus winked back, pretending to have ignored Alec’s endearment and that he had thrown in an endearment of his own. Alec’s lips curved up in a lop-sided grin as he offered one dish of pot stickers to Magnus.

“Church! Come to Dad. It is time for food!”, laid out his hand for the cat to jump on him but the little devil climbed up Magnus’ neck and hissed at his father. “Did you just... Church...!”, Alec popped his eyes open in amazement and gasped. Magnus covered his mouth with his palm and chortled. “Church... come on! Stop being the drama queen that you are...”, Alec gritted his teeth and called to the cat again. This time, he actually growled at his father and jumped on the floor, running away from Alec. “Church!”, Alec yelled behind the cat who sprinted across the room on its padded paws and hid in one corner, hissing softly.

“Let him be, Alexander...”, Magnus chuckled, unable to hold his laughter. “I don’t think he is in the mood for anything but drama right now...”

“You are always the one who spoils him, Magnus. He’s this pampered because of you.”, Alec announced, in the spur of a moment. Magnus cleared his throat and hugged himself, wrapping his arms around his chest tightly. “I am sorry...”, Alec blurted out. Stupid Alec, he cursed himself.

“Alexander...”, Magnus tilted his head in one direction. “You need to stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. Ok?”

“Mm”, Alec flashed a weak smile. They settled on the couch facing each other. Alec was nervously digging into his food, unsure of how to start a conversation with Magnus. He had gotten better with handling Magnus around him, but it was still very hard for him to be in love with Magnus but not show it up front.

“Do you mind if I ask you something?”, Magnus made it easier by breaking the silence between them as he put one potsticker in his mouth. Alec narrowed his brows and shook his head. “How did... I... the other me, meet you for the first time...?”

Alec choked on his beer and widened his eyes. “Do you... like... do you really want to know Magnus?”

“Yes... I do. I want to know how we met...!”, Magnus assured. “It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it... I’ll understand...”

“We...? Uhm, I don’t mind talking about one of the fondest memories of my life.”, he asked back. Magnus smiled and nodded. “So uhh...we met at... we met at Simon’s hospital actually... it wasn’t exactly the most romantic way to meet someone you would fall in love with and go on to marry one day... but we fared well... I think.”, Alec’s grin widened as he recalled one of the fondest memories of his life. “It was the hospital’s Founder’s Day celebration party and Izzy and I had both been invited by Simon. They had just started dating and he was _not-so-subtly_ trying to impress the brother of the girl he was in love with... nothing cliché about it... right?”, Alec shook his head, curving his lips upwards. Magnus bit his lip and smiled. Alec leaned back in one corner of the couch, relaxing himself. “You had come to the party along with Simon, in place of Cat coz... I don’t know because I don’t remember the exact details, but she had some emergency at the café... if I remember correctly”, Alec raised his chin up to recall the peculiarities. Magnus inquisitively leaned on the backrest of the couch and spread his arm right on top of it, listening carefully.

“So, Simon kinda dragged Izz to an empty table where you were supposedly waiting for Simon’s girlfriend, and I tagged along because he wanted all of us to _get to know each other,_ apparently”, Alec finger-quoted and wiped his mouth. “You weren’t there at the time... Simon told us that his friend had gone to get them drinks and so, we started talking – Simon rather animatedly. His hands were all over the place. Izzy was smiling throughout and even I was listening to him... but I also somehow wasn’t. In all his stupidity and naivety, I could see the way he looked at Izzy and there was just so much admiration for her and so much respect. And that’s frankly all I had ever wanted for her... So, I was passing time... and pretending to listen to him when I see this beautiful man walk up to our table. His Asian features, darkly kohled eyes and the brilliant necklaces dangling around his neck draw my attention to him and man, am I stumped or what? You were so stunning... Magnus.”, Alec sighed. Magnus realized that Alec was reliving that moment and he was in too deep to realize that he was talking about Magnus.

“I couldn’t keep myself from staring at you. You were standing right behind Simon... holding three glasses of champagne together when he just waved his hand above his head and one of the glasses toppled onto your shirt... soaking you completely”, he chuckled, softly, recalling every last detail of that eventful night. Magnus looked at Alec and he scoffed just because Alec had evoked that response in him. “And then you became so mad at him... Simon saw red...”, Alec covered his mouth to hold his laughter. “You poured the other two glasses of champagne on his head,” The corner of Alec’s eyes crinkled as he broke into a stronger giggle.

“After pouring the drink all over my sister’s boyfriend, you rushed straight into the men’s room. And before I knew what was happening, I was right behind you, following you inside. You were cursing him left right and center and I couldn’t help but just stare at you while you washed your shirt to remove the stain”, Alec admitted, feeling a blush creep on his cheeks.

“At some point... you decided to look up from the washbasin and finally notice me. I gave you a towel... and you just smiled and walked away, saying nothing. But, I had been so smitten that... I stood there awhile – smiling and ruffling my hair like a stupid idiot.”, he looked to his side to see if Magnus was still with him and felt Magnus’ fingers playing with his hair.

“Like that...?”, Magnus asked in the softest tone possible. Alec closed his eyes for a bit, taking in the sensation of Magnus caressing him and then opened his lids again. Magnus was still very much there. He wasn’t imagining it. Magnus’ head was resting on his arm laid out on the backrest of the couch.

“Yeah...”, Alec choked on his own spit.

“So beautiful”, Magnus remarked – his eyes twinkling and glistening with joy. There was no way Alec was imagining this look in his ex-husband’s eyes. Something was changing between them. Something was changing in Magnus. “You wore your favorite smoky grey shirt that day with those acid wash jeans that I hated with everything I have. The first two buttons of the shirt were undone. Izzy had told me that she got that shirt for you...after she got her first payment at the hospital and that is why it was so special for you...”, Magnus whispered, his pupil flickering as he stared right in Alec’s eyes. “When Lewis spilt all that champagne on me, I was guilty of not paying attention myself because I was so caught up in those beautiful and big hazel eyes that were looking at me...!”, he smiled, making Alec gasp.

“You...”, he responded, puzzled to complete his sentence.

Magnus used his thumb to rub Alec’s cheekbone as he leaned closer. “I wanted to talk to you, but I couldn’t gather the needed courage. Out of embarrassment. First impression and I soiled my shirt and made a fool out of myself instead.”, he scoffed, but Alec was too wound up on the revelation of Magnus recalling the details of the incident that he should have forgotten.

“You remember...?”, Alec choked, and his voice trembled.

“I had a vision last night... it was more like a dream, but I saw you, Alexander”, Magnus said admittedly, making an amazed smile appear on Alec’s face. “I was not sure if this was real incident that I had forgotten, or I was just that attracted to you that I had reached the stage of dreaming about you...”, he crawled closer, placing his free hand on Alec’s thigh, making the latter jump slightly. “I didn’t mean to break your heart, Alexander...”, tiny drops of tears appeared in his eyes. He bent forward and buried his face in Alec’s neck, wrapping his arm around Alec’s chest. “I don’t know if I will ever remember all of the forgotten five years of my life and I...”, he moaned, snuggling closer to his ex-husband. He was well-aware that he had no right to be that close to Alec until the latter so desired, but he just couldn’t help it.

“Magnus, shh. Stop crying.”, he rubbed his palm up and down Magnus’ back. “I am happy either way. As long as you’re healthy and happy. I love you. And this is what love is, Magnus. Always remember that...”, he pressed his cheek on Magnus’ hair. “I love you”, he whispered, and Magnus looked up, gasping for breath. “And loving you doesn’t mean that I expect you to love me back. I mean... I would love it if you did but loving someone means that you also need to give them the freedom and space to breathe and become their own person. And if you’re lucky enough, that love is reciprocated. Even if it isn’t... you’re still lucky that you got to love that amazing person... and that you’re capable of having those emotions, to begin with”, Alec’s heart wrenched in pain as he felt Magnus wrap his arm tighter around him. “So, me loving you doesn’t mean that you are obliged to love me back. I can love you and be thankful that you’re alive, even if you’re not with me... because loving someone also implies that you want their happiness, at all costs”

“How do you do it? Love me so much even though all you see in my eyes is my struggle to recall one moment that I spent with you”, he mumbled in Alec’s neck.

“It isn’t as hard as one thinks”, Alec rolled his eyes, lying to himself. Watching Magnus not being in love with him had shaken Alec to his very core. “In fact, I get the strength for all this out of my love for you...”, he said, very proudly, as he pulled himself together. Magnus took a deep breath and looked up, albeit still holding onto Alec. He raised his hand to cup Alec’s cheek, pressing the tip of his fingers on to the back of Alec’s neck. He raised himself slightly off the couch, to elevate himself till his eyes were Alec’s level. His fingers dug in Alec’s skin, pushing him slightly closer to himself. Magnus waited until Alec’s lips were close enough and slightly parted his lips as the latter drew closer.

Alec closed his eyes and his breath hitched, rather loudly. Magnus stopped very close to Alec’s lips to steal one last gaze at this wonderful man and then hastily pressed his lips on to him. He raised his other hand and cupped the other side of Alec’s cheek, raising himself completely on his knees. Alec grabbed Magnus’ waist to support him as he kissed him back, quenching his thirst to kiss the love of his life. He had waited for Magnus to return to him and remember him and their love... kiss him with passion just like he used to do, for over three years of his life now. Tears streamed down his eyes soaking his and Magnus’ cheeks. Magnus felt the warmth and wetness and pulled away to look at Alec. He used his thumb to wipe the tear drops forming in Alec’s eyes and mouthed a quick _no_ gesturing very clearly that today wasn’t going to be the day that Alec suffered or cried. Alec smiled and nodded acknowledging Magnus’ gesture, meanwhile returning to his ex-husband for another kiss.

None of them noticed how long the kiss lasted or when Magnus slowly parted his lips away from Alec’s and snuggled back in his neck and fell back on the couch. He was feeling at home after so long and even though he still hadn’t gotten his memories back, he was determined to make new ones with Alec and make sure there wasn’t any room for any more heartbreak between the two of them. It felt like it could be the dawn of a new morning for the two ex-husbands.

The same evening, Alec was on a telephonic conference with two clients while Magnus was playing with Church in Alec’s balcony. As the architect moved to and fro in his living room explaining the minute details of his proposal, he stole glances at the Asian man and realized how ridiculously he was still in love with him. Magnus was sitting on the floor of the balcony, holding the cat in his arms. The little Devil purred and kneaded incessantly on Magnus’ chest. Some time later, the two boys in Alec’s life marched back into his studio and pouted, gesturing Alec to cut the call. Alec rolled his eyes and turned around with his back facing Magnus.

He did not need Magnus’ utterly delicious face distracting him from work.

After he whispered a quick _thank you_ to the clients, Alec hung the call up and turned around to find Magnus missing from the couch. He looked around and saw his cat sleeping on his bed, but Magnus was nowhere to be seen. Alec’s heart sank. So, Magnus left after being tired of waiting for Alec. Great. Well done, Alec Lightwood! He smacked himself and groaned, dropping on the couch.

“Alexander?”, a familiar voice called from somewhere in the bedroom. Alec was so hung up on the assumption that Magnus had left that he failed to recognize the voice and spat a quick _What!_ to whoever it was that had dared disturb Alec while he was brooding on Magnus leaving. Of course, it could be Church enchanted to speak in a human tongue for a day... in his apartment, or the million-other people who lived there besides him and his little devil.

Right?

But then, he lived alone. About time Alec realized. He popped his eyes open and craned his neck in the direction of the sound. There was rattling in his cupboard and Alec stood up to see what the hustle was about. He found Magnus kneeling in front of his cupboard, looking for something.

“Magnus?”, he asked, crossing his arms on his chest.

“I need a spare shirt”, Magnus hummed, focusing on his quest for the said item. Alec observed Magnus struggling around his messy and unkept cupboard and crossed his hands on his chest, waiting for Magnus to admit defeat.

“Wait”, Alec raised his voice and Magnus stopped, tilting his head to look at Alec through the corner of his eyes. “Allow me?”, he offered, and Magnus stepped aside. Alec dug his head inside one of the cabinets of his cupboard and took out a few shirts, whilst laying it out for Magnus. Those were all peculiarly colorful ones, with a characteristic glimmer and shine that somewhat defined Magnus more than they did Alec. Magnus, therefore, narrowed his brows and looked at the hazel-eyed man in front of him.

“Those belonged to you... I mean the _other you..._ ”, Alec explained, heaving a huge sigh and sat on the floor, crossing his legs.

“And you kept them for me...?”, Magnus gasped, taking the shirts from Alec. Alec pretended to have not noticed how Magnus referred to his other self as _himself,_ for the first time ever

“Yeah. Yeah. Some of them still smell of you... don’t get creeped out I mean. Whenever I missed you more than I could endure...”, Alec lifted his shoulder and jerked, pursing his lips. Magnus closed his eyes and licked his lips. He took a deep breath and smiled, clearing his throat.

“At least both of my versions have a good taste in fashion!”, Magnus remarked proudly, and Alec chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Your little devil decided to knead on my shirt harder than the fibers could tolerate... and voila!”, he pointed at a particularly nasty scratch that had pulled the threads of Magnus’ shirt.

“I am so sorry...”, Alec widened his brows. “Church can be really... really mischievous sometimes...”, he defended his little animal.

“Taken after me, I guess”, Magnus joked, casually.

Alec dropped his gaze on the floor and smiled softly, choosing not to reply to that question. “I was heading out to have... have dinner with Izzy and Jace. Do you... want to join us?”, he lifted his head back up and asked. Magnus parted his lips and pressed them onto each other again, not sure of what he was supposed to answer.

“I don’t think I should interrupt your time with your siblings, Alexander... that’s not fair to them”, he licked his lips and blinked profusely. “Some other time?”

“They wouldn’t mind... I mean, that’s if you want to come. I don’t want to force you... you know, if you don’t want to spend more time here, you’re free to leave”, Alec stuttered, adjusting his jeans as he stood back up, followed by Magnus who was holding the spare shirt in his hand. Alec took a step back and rubbed his temple as if something just hit him out of nowhere. “What did we do?”, he gasped, all of a sudden. “Magnus... I am so sorry what did we do...”, he folded his hands together in front of him. “That kiss... I didn’t even ask you... it’s... shit shit shit! Alec!”, he turned around cursing himself. Magnus couldn’t quiet comprehend what had gotten into the man out of nowhere. He threw the shirt aside and followed Alec. Squeezing his arm, Magnus pulled Alec back and turned him around to face him.

His breathing was erratic.

“Why did you kiss me?”, Alec asked, horrified as he closed his mouth with his palm.

“Because I wanted to...”, Magnus’ voice was soft and comforting, almost as if he was trying to calm Alec’s nerves down.

“Why?”, Alec’s voice shook as he spoke. “Because you knew that you used to be in love with me and that is just how things are supposed to be. They’re not, Magnus. I don’t want to hold you back. You’re free to go out and –”

“God you talk so much!”, Magnus rolled his eyes. “I didn’t kiss you because of any other reason than the fact that I wanted to, alright? I’ve known about our relationship for over a year now and if this was about that, I would have kissed you a long time ago. But the truth is, I like you Alexander. _I_ like you... and it does not matter to me that my other self loved you more than he was physically capable of. That truth didn’t affect _my_ present feelings for you”, Magnus came closer and pressed another kiss on Alec’s lips to assure him. “And if you’ll have me, I’d love to get to know you... again...”

“If this is what you want... I’d love nothing more than to know who you are!”, Alec nodded, closing his eyes. He wanted to take in every moment of this before it became a thing of the past.

Alec was smiling now, genuinely smiling. He leaned forward and buried his head in Magnus’ neck and let the latter make patterns on his back. “I’d love nothing else either”, he softly mumbled back.

“How about you come over to my apartment on Saturday?”, Magnus offered, pulling away from Alec.

“Your loft above your restaurant property?”, Alec popped his eyes open.

“Yes, I’ll make you authentic Indian food and... and we can watch a movie... with drinks or whatever you want to do...?”, Magnus was exhilarated as he invited Alec. Alec fisted his hands behind his back, grinning at the chef.

“I’ll be there at 7!”, Alec blushed, and looked away attempting to hold back his tears. He had imagined something like this happening a million times in the last couple of years. “But you can still come over for dinner with me...”, he raised a brow.

“Like I already mentioned, I don’t want to ruin your time with your brother and sister, Alexander. There’s seriously no other reason than that”, Magnus said, stepping back towards the bed to grab the spare shirt. Alec looked away as Magnus changed clothes and grabbed his coat to leave. He followed the man to the door and leaned on it as Magnus stepped out.

“I’ll see you on Saturday then!”, he beamed with happiness. Alec returned a wide grin and crossed his hand on his chest.

“Yeah you will!”, Alec assured. Magnus sighed in relief and lurched forward to peck Alec’s cheek before he proceeded to the staircase. He turned around at the very end of the hall and waved. Alec licked his lips and waved back, before stepping back into the apartment.

\-----

“Clary wants us to see a counsellor before we start planning a family...”, Jace spoke, swallowing a large bite of pasta. Alec was rolling his spaghetti in his fork and he looked up, widening his eyes.

“Wow, something that brought big brother’s attention back to us”, Izzy chided. “She’s right you know... your wife”, Izzy winked at Jace.

“I am listening to you...”, Alec rolled his eyes and glared at his sister. “Anyway, I too think that is a sensible idea, Jace...”, he shrugged. “Didn’t you say that Jocelyn had a premature abortion before she had Clary...? It is safe to go and speak with a counsellor... I mean what bad would it do?”

“Nothing... but I don’t see a point. She is healthy and so am I. My biological parents had no history of any hereditary conditions and apart from Jocelyn’s abortion... I don’t think...”, Jace gulped beer down his throat.

“Jace... you know you’re being stupid right?”, Izzy pitched in. “Half of these disorders don’t have a clinical presentation and Clary is just being cautious... You wouldn’t even know you’re harboring a condition that you could pass on to your child...”

“For once, that girl is talking sense”, Alec rolled his eyes and elicited a glare from both Izzy and Jace. “I think you should take it!”

“It’s been two years, Alec. Two years since the wedding and you’re still as bitter to Clary as you were when I first introduced you...”, Jace taunted.

“I am not bitter. I just find her...”, he looked up and saw Izzy fuming at him. Wow, careful Alec. Wrong choice of words and you’d be in a lot of trouble. “... _funny_.”, he shrugged. Jace rolled his eyes and focused his attention back on his food.

Izzy was right about Alec being distracted with something. After dinner, Alec decided to walk his sister back home to her apartment which was only a few blocks away from where they had been eating. She curled her arm around his and snuggled closer as the chilly winter night gripped them both.

“Magnus came by... he spent the day with Church and me”, Alec huffed out white vapor from his mouth. Izzy sniffed and looked up, smiling softly. “I know... stop gloating. I am not capable of hiding things from you, girl. You know it! I just didn’t want Jace to worry...”, he rolled his eyes and looked ahead.

“Tell me what you need to! And I know... he’s already busy with Clary and the pregnancy. Sorry for bringing it up at dinner. I didn’t realize that this would be about Magnus...”, she sighed and squeezed his arm.

“We kissed”, Alec sniffed and cleared his throat. He felt Izzy’s hand slip out of his arm and she stopped walking. Alec halted and turned around to find her staring at him with wide and open eyes. She licked her lips and blinked her eyes.

“Alec, are you ok?”, the tiny smile that Alec had momentarily seen on her face vanished and she panicked.

“He said he likes me...”, Alec revealed as Izzy joined him back. They began walking again, hand in hand this time. “He still doesn’t have his memories... but Izz... I just...”, Alec rubbed his temple.

“You don’t want to be with this version of him? Is that what this is about? You have to know that it’s ok to feel like this...”, Izzy popped the question. Alec looked at her horrifically and shot back instantly.

“NO! It’s not that! I love him, Iz. EVERY GODDAMN version of him! Memories or no memories...”, Alec made it abundantly clear. “I just don’t want to hurt him...”

“And how exactly would that happen?”, she raised a brow. “Because the Alec I know could never do anything to hurt Magnus...”, she added.

“No matter what happens, I would always be in love with him and I don’t want that to make things difficult between us... what if he weirds out because I love him so much...”, he admitted. Izzy sighed and ran a few steps to stop in front of Alec.

“Listen to me. Don’t think about what might happen, alright? Magnus _knows_ that deep down you still love him very much and yet, he kissed you. He likes you too! Honestly, I would have advised you to stay away from your ex but its Magnus we’re talking about. Memories or not, he’s still the most wonderful person we’ve ever met, and no accident can ever change that. I want you to do...”, she took a deep breath, cupping his face with her gloved hands. It had started to snow a little. “...what your heart tells you to!”, she whispered.

“I love him, Iz”, Alec whispered, choking on his tears.

“I know. Just go ahead with this if you want and I am here for you. Every step of the way. Like always. Isabelle and Alexander – against the world”, she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I love you, Izzy”, Alec smiled, whispering in his sister’s neck.

“I love you too, hermano!”, she sniffled. “Now let me go. I need to warn that little crush of yours. The sister-speech!”, she winked and let him go, stepping inside her building.

“IZZY”, Alec widened her eyes, hoping she wouldn’t do anything like that but if he knew even a little about his sister, he was sure that Isabelle Lightwood was capable of everything she had just said.


	3. a happy beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's so much all of us want to hear right now. I've been shook and damaged since yesterday and I am going to fight till my last breath to #SaveShadowhunters. I hope you're all doing your bit too.
> 
> But, here's the final part...there's fluff and happy beginnings... because we don't believe in ending anything that is related to SH or Malec! ;)

A persistent knock on the door made Magnus heart skip a beat. It had to be Alec. He took a quick look at himself in the mirror. He looked date ready but nervous as hell. Magnus had chosen a turquoise blue colored satin sequined kurta over black skinny leather pants. His hair was spiked up and shaded with a light shade of blue and magenta. His eyes were thickly lined by kohl and a black eye-shadow with a hue of turquoise blue contoured his lids. The bracelets in his hand chimed as he lifted his hand up to open the door. Closing his eyes momentarily, he took a deep breath. _I can do this. It’s just Alec. He knows who you are... especially your faults, even if you don’t remember them yourself. He has seen you at your worse already and there’s nothing to worry about._ He told himself and twisted the door knob in his hand. The door clicked open and revealed a very well-dressed Alec Lightwood standing on the other side.

He wore a light grey button-up shirt with the top two buttons open and tight black jeans with combat boots. His hand held a very carefully ribboned bottle of champagne and Magnus dropped his head on the edge of the door, just gazing at Alec.

“Hi”, he smiled, his mouth drying up.

“Hi...”, Alec felt a blush creep on his lips and he bit his lower lip, taking it inside momentarily. Magnus opened the door and held it out for Alec, who confidently walked in after handing over the bottle to Magnus. A swift movement right behind Alec alerted Magnus as he saw Alec’s cat scurry inside behind his father. “For a very odd reason, he refused to stay behind. He wouldn’t stop crying every time I locked the door... so I hope you don’t mind?”, Alec sighed.

“It is perfectly fine, Alexander. Church is always welcome in my home. In fact, I am glad you brought him here. He is, afterall, family”, he beamed as the cat inspected his new surroundings and made himself comfortable in one lonely corner. Alec took a deep breath and stopped walking. He nervously stuffed his hands in his pocket and turned towards Magnus.

“You look amazing”, he whispered in a very low tone.

“So do you.”, Magnus licked his lips and walked further to cover the distance between him and his date. He slowed down once he reached sufficiently close to Alec and stared in his eyes as the latter struggled to catch his breath. “I wasn’t sure about your favorite dish in the Indian cuisine, so I just made what I am best at...so that I don’t make a fool out of myself...”, Magnus said, nervously.

“Indian is good. I love Indian! That cuisine seldom goes wrong so just... relax”, Alec smiled and looked away towards the kitchen. The soft smell of spices was making Alec salivate. He cleared his throat and walked towards the kitchen and Magnus swiftly followed, walking past him to the cabinet to take out champagne glasses. He unscrewed the cork and popped it open, pouring the drink in two glasses. He held out one glass to Alec.

“Thank you for agreeing to have dinner with me”, he whispered. “You have no idea how much it means to me...”, he added, sighing.

“Thank you for asking me.”, Alec smiled back and placed his palm over Magnus’ palm on the kitchen counter. “For the record, it means as much to me. Don’t ever doubt that”, Alec added. He wasn’t sure if Magnus was ok with this much proximity, but he could try and see where it all went, in all honesty. Magnus was gazing at Alec when the sound of the spices simmering diverted his attention to the pot. He opened the lid and the warm steam laden with the scent of spices engulfed the room. Alec lifted his chin up and took a whiff, closing his eyes. “Smells unearthly. I can’t wait”, he mumbled. Magnus took out a spoon from the cabinet and scooped a conspicuous amount of curry from the boiling pot. Blowing air to cool it down, he lifted the spoon very close to Alec’s mouth, offering him to have a taste.

“Tell me if it needs more seasoning?”, he asked. Alec opened his eyes and leaned forward, opening his mouth. “Careful, Alec. It is really hot...”, he warned. Alec stopped and stuck out his tongue to inspect the temperature of the curry and then opened his mouth to engulf the spoon. As Magnus pulled an empty spoon out of Alec’s mouth, the latter closed his eyes and hummed.

“It is perfect.”, he announced, and Magnus grinned widely. He lifted his thumb to the corner of Alec’s lips and wiped the remnants of curry from it. Alec opened his eyes and dropped his head down blushing. Putting the lid back on, Magnus walked ahead and covered the distance between him and Alec. He placed his palm on Alec’s chest and then rubbed it upwards to curl it around Alec’s neck, digging his fingers in his neck. Alec took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist, pulling him closer as Magnus stood on his toes and pressed his lips onto Alec’s.

Alec moaned as he trailed his palms up from Magnus’ waist and placed it on his shoulder blades. The kiss was deep, and a shiver ran down Magnus’ spine. The kiss had longing and happiness, pain and suffering, all merged into one single feeling – passion. They tilted their heads in the other direction and the kiss only deepened with Magnus’ tongue pushing its way inside Alec’s mouth, and playing with him. He sucked hard at Alec’s lower lip and then went for the upper one. His fingers moved up simultaneously to clasp Alec’s hairs between them.

They pulled apart, catching their breath. Magnus looked up and saw Alec’s lips had gone a darker shade of pink and looked a little swollen. There was glitter shining all over Alec’s cheekbones which made him chuckle softly. He kicked himself off the feet once more and threw himself on Alec.

.

_Magnus was watching people hustle on the streets in Brooklyn to get into the cabs and go back home for the upcoming weekend. It had been the most beautiful Friday night of his life and he was now walking back home, holding Alec’s hand in his own. Life couldn’t be better than that moment. After so many failed blind dates and matchmaking attempts, this was the most wonderful first-date Magnus had ever been on. Alec was certainly the best thing that had happened to him, in a very long time. They had gone to the bar for drinks and then proceeded to dance for a bit. Magnus noticed that Alec was pretty good on the dance floor. His moves were swift and flexible and very sexy to look at, with his black shirt folded up to his elbows and three buttons of his shirt, undone – revealing his gorgeous chest and skin. Magnus didn’t know that he was the chest-hair type of guy but apparently, Alec’s chest hair peeking out from his shirt were doing many and surprisingly new things to Magnus._

_As he reached the steps of his building, he turned around and saw Alec smiling at him, awkwardly. “What would you say if I asked you to come up with me... for coffee and a movie? It is Saturday tomorrow and I don’t have to work at the restaurant in the morning...”, Magnus took a chance. Alec ruffled the hair at the back of his head and blushed, looking away._

_“I would love to... but, Izzy is waiting for me at the hospital. Simon is not in New York at the moment and I have to go pick her up and drive her back home... I promised her a very long time ago”, he sighed. “Rain check on the coffee and the movie? I had a really good time and I want to do it again...”, he asked. Magnus pouted and then nodded, unwilling to let Alec Lightwood go._

_“Alright, Isabelle can take you away this time. But, a promise on that coffee and the movie?”, Magnus asked, childishly. Alec’s lips curved into a lopsided grin. He leaned forward and cupped Magnus’ face, kissing him gently on his lips._

_“Promise. I can’t wait to spend a night-in with you... and taste some of the amazing food you make...”, he breathed against Magnus’ lips, making a shiver run down the latter’s spine._

_Magnus gently let him go and gazed as Alec disappeared at the corner of the street. He shook his head and chuckled. Magnus Bane was in a lot of trouble._

.

Magnus could hear Alec calling his name out but he did not look like he was in control of his own movements. The picture of Alec disappearing at the corner of the street blurred and became hazy. Moments later, his visions cleared, and he came back to the present only to find Alec panicking in front of him, holding his phone near his ear. “Hold on, Magnus. I am calling 911 and help will be on the way soon. You just hold on. Everything will be okay.”, he huffed and turned around to dial the emergency number. Magnus quickly grabbed his arm.

“Alec, wait. I am fine”, he breathed, blinking his eyes.

“You don’t look fine...”, Alec looked scared. There were drops of sweat on his forehead and his pupils had widened. This was the first instance where Magnus saw a fear in Alec’s eyes – a fear of losing Magnus. His heart leaped in his chest as he held Alec by his shoulders and cupped his face eventually.

“I am alright. Trust me... this was... this was nothing”, Magnus flashed a smile and stepped ahead to hug Alec. Alec protectively wrapped his arms Magnus and squeezed him to his chest. “I am fine. This was nothing... nothing...believe me. Plus, I can’t let 911 ruin my first date with you.”, he reassured his date.

“I can’t lose you again, Magnus. I don’t care about anything else. I _have_ lost you once... and that’s it. That’s all I can take in one mortal life.”, Alec said, absentmindedly. Magnus’ heart ached as he heard those words. He clasped Alec’s shirt in his fingers and snuggled further in his embrace.

“You won’t”, Magnus whispered. “Never again...”, he reassured.

\-----

“I am so sorry for the mess Church must be creating at your place”, Alec sighed on the phone. He was scuttling in the lobbies of his firm. Since their first date, Alec had spent a few scattered nights at Magnus’ and last night particularly had been a long one. Alec and Magnus spent it watching a couple of movies, much to Church’s disliking. The noise disturbed his sleep and he went on a rampage during the last movie, tearing and kneading at Magnus’ precious cushions. Alec tried to stop him, but Magnus laughed, letting the cat extract his revenge from the two boys.

Next morning, the stubbornness continued as the feline refused to leave Magnus’ house with his father. Magnus was so amused by the antics that he insisted on babysitting Church since he was working from his apartment that day. Alec was unwilling because Magnus didn’t remember what a big trouble Church could sometimes be.

“It’s quite alright, Alexander. I am sure he will listen to me eventually. Well, I hope he does. Otherwise, I am going to have to call an architect to renovate this loft as well. Fortunately, I know someone very capable for the job.”, Magnus chuckled as he watched Church snore on the top of his papers, his important property documents. Contrary to what Alec was expecting, Magnus was enjoying this little guy and his tricks.

“Do you?”, Alec raised a brow and quirked. “Is he any good?”, he questioned, biting his upper lip.

“From what I’ve heard, he’s very good. Very, very good at his job...”, Magnus hummed immediately, eliciting a scoff on the other side of the phone.

“I hope you don’t have to use him to renovate your loft. God knows he’s exhausted these days...”, Alec rolled his eyes.

“He somehow always has time for me. Don’t you worry, Alexander”, Magnus assured the architect.

“He seems to really like you?”, Alec winked.

“I am beginning to think so too...”, Magnus ascertained.

“I swear to God, one day I am going to go to jail because of something that he does”, Alec rolled his eyes dramatically. “Anyways, I’ll see you after work alright? My place?”, the architect narrowed his brows.

“It’s a date”, Magnus chimed, putting his phone down.

\-----

Magnus was sitting on the couch in Alec’s studio apartment, waiting for him to return. Church had been so exhausted after his day of kneading at everything that was cushiony in Magnus’ loft that he fell asleep on their way back to Alec’s and Magnus settled him on his comfy bed in the corner of the living room. He was scrolling through the channels, trying to find something worth watching when he landed on Shark Tank and stopped. One of the visions that he had had included Alec and Magnus fighting over whether or not Mark Cuban and Robert Herjavec were the best Sharks in the entire tank and deserved to be accepted on all the deals they made.

Magnus rolled his eyes and chuckled, remembering that crazy dream when the main door of the studio clicked, and Alec walked in, holding a dozen of files and folders in his hand. Magnus sprinted across the room to hold some of the folders and help Alec out and the man thanked him back by the loveliest smile in the entire universe.

“Hi”, Alec smiled, looking exhausted. Magnus wrapped his arm around Alec’s waist and pulled him in for a kiss – a short and welcoming one. Alec hummed as Magnus’ lips covered his. He was so overwhelmed with it that he found his grip on his files loosening and he had to catch them midair.

“How was your day?”, Magnus pulled away and whispered, very close to Alec’s lips...making the latter shiver.

“Usual...”, Alec sighed, pulling away from Magnus momentarily to keep his documents on the table. He turned around and wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist pulling him closer. “Now... I can kiss you properly...”, he mumbled, parting his lips to encase Magnus’ in them.

“I can’t believe I missed you... it’s only been a few hours since you left in the morning, but I missed you...”, Magnus complained, playing his lips around Alec’s and teasing him by pulling away every few seconds.

“I missed you too... so much that I don’t want to let you get out of this embrace...”, Alec clutched Magnus harder, pressing the latter on his chest. Magnus flickered his lids and smiled. He dropped his gaze down and buried it in the lapels of Alec’s blazer, inhaling his deep and intoxicating scent. He pouted and pressed a gently kiss on Alec’s collar bone that was peeking from his unbuttoned shirt.

“There’s no other place I would rather be, Alexander”, Magnus sighed, mumbling a loud hum and nuzzling his nose in the bareness of Alec’s peeking chest. “You should have told your last client that you have a boyfriend waiting for you at home... and that he gets very angry if you’re late...”, he complained, pouting again.

“Boyfriend?”, Alec naughtily asked, popping his eyes wide open. “Are... we _boyfriends?_ ”, he winked, kissing Magnus’ glittered eyes. Magnus blushed crimson and pink and nodded, biting his lips. He looked away to avoid the knowing look in Alec’s eyes. The architect sought this perfect opportunity to press a kiss on Magnus’ cheekbone.

“I love the sound of the word”, he hummed, trailing his lips down to Magnus’ carotid, where he gently stuck out his tongue and licked it. Magnus jumped in Alec’s clutches and moaned.

“Uhm?”, he managed to say as Alec slowly let him go. Magnus looked at the arms loosening around him and he took the chance to jerk himself off on his toes and wrap his arms around Alec’s neck. “Guess what... I love it too”, he grinned, before pressing his wet lips onto Alec’s who scoffed and kissed his _boyfriend_ back. They played with each other’s lips, twirling around the room.

“I’ve missed you so much...”, the revelation from Alec stopped Magnus in his tracks and he opened his eyes to look at Alec who was smiling at him with tearful eyes. He saw the pain in those hazel orbs and he felt this deep urge to wipe the pain away without any further ado.

“I know... but I am here now”, Magnus ran his fingers through the curls falling on Alec’s forehead and pushed them away. Alec closed his eyes, leaning in on Magnus’ palm as it made its way down Alec’s cheek.

“Don’t go...”, Alec pleaded, helplessly and unconsciously.

“Never...”, Magnus hummed and pressed a kiss on the bridge of Alec’s nose.

\-----

It was yet another peaceful Sunday evening and Alec was lying in a sofa in Magnus’ loft. Church was curled up on his feet and Magnus was making dinner. Alec’s hands were swiftly typing an email on his laptop.

“Dry or would you prefer gravy, Alexander?”, Magnus yelled from the kitchen while tossing vegetables in his wok.

“Surprise me!”, Alec clicked his tongue, resuming his typing.

He got up from the sofa a while later shutting the flap of his laptop down and walked to the kitchen to join Magnus who was now preparing Indian Naan bread for dinner. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist from the back and pressed a kiss on the nape of his neck.

“I got a new assignment”, he whispered, dropping his head on Magnus’ shoulder.

“Really! What is it?”, Magnus chimed, pressing a quick kiss on Alec’s cheek and resuming his cooking.

“It’s a 4-apartment deal in Washington... the investors want me to design the basic building plan and if they like it, they’ll let me be in charge of some other deals under their real estate projects...”, Alec replied, wrapping his arm Magnus tightly and pulling him closer to his chest.

“Washington?”, Magnus gasped. “That’s... that’s... 4 hours away by car... and...”, he stammered, turning around in Alec’s hold.

“I will have to be in DC for 2 years... at the minimum”, Alec pressed his lips up.

“2 years...”, Magnus blinked... unable to comprehend the appropriate reaction for this. “I... you deserve this... congratulations, babe. I am so happy for you...”, he flashed a smile and pecked him on his lips. “Now... DC gets to experience the Alec Lightwood enigma...”, he tried to sound normal.

“I won’t go... if you don’t want me to...”, Alec shrugged.

“Me... I...”, Magnus felt awkward. “I can’t hold you back from following your dreams... but...”, he wasn’t sure if he had the luxury to keep Alec from going after his dreams.

“Two years is an awfully long time...”, Alec swallowed.

“It is... and I mean... Washington’s not too far... but it’s not near either... and I just... we can manage, right?”, Magnus rolled his eyes, pulling away from Alec to find a clean spatula. “How much time do you have to decide?”, he choked, fearing the possibility of Alec leaving him.

“I have to meet the investors in Washington by the end of next week. If I am on board with their vision and ideas, I can start work next month... otherwise, it will be as if the offer never happened...”, Alec whispered.

“Oh... so you have to fly to DC next week”, Magnus widened his eyes.

“I was thinking... I’ll just drive there, you know. It’s better and I will have something to commute by... if I leave early in the morning, I’ll reach Washington by afternoon... and then I can drive back as soon as I am done with the meeting and not wait for a scheduled flight...”, Alec suggested.

“It’s too risky to drive all the way to DC, Alexander!”, Magnus said, gasping with fear. “Take a flight...”

“I have to pick up a few things for Izzy... and 4 hours is no big deal, Magnus. I can manage 4 hours...”, Alec argued. Something didn’t feel right for Magnus. He didn’t want to let Alec go to Washington and there was that... but especially not by a car.

“Are you sure?”, he furrowed his brows.

“I... yeah, I am. I’ll be back before you know. And by that time, if you do decide to let me know how you honestly feel about it... please, please... let me know. I want you to be honest about your feelings...”, Alec said softly, pressing a kiss on Magnus’ cheek and letting him go.

They had a quiet dinner where they talked about the new assignment as well as the fact that Magnus’ loft was almost done... as was his restaurant... and Magnus had already started looking for staff to hire and preparing menus and everything. They were planning a grand opening on the by the beginning of summers so that the restaurant had a boost in customers.

That night, Alec dozed off earlier than Magnus. The chef felt Alec’s chest going up and down below his head. His cheeks were pressed against his chest and his hand was wrapped around Alec’s waist. “I don’t think I can see you go away to DC, Alexander?”, Magnus mumbled under his breath. “But who am I to talk you out of it...”

Alec hummed in his sleep, making Magnus jerk slightly. He craned his neck and removed the strands of hair from Alec’s forehead, shushing him back to sleep and pressing a kiss on the side of his chin.

\-----

“Alec hasn’t checked in all day. Are you sure he is fine? How did his meeting go?”, Catarina whined, sitting across the table from Magnus in his loft. Magnus lifted his lips and shrugged.

“He told me that he’ll tell me face-to-face. Right before he was about to grab some snacks and leave for New York”, Magnus replied, trying to hide the fear under his voice. He hadn’t heard from Alec since afternoon and it was driving him insane.

“He should be here any minute then... shouldn’t he?”, Cat enquired. Magnus took a deep breath and nodded. “Don’t worry, he’s careless as hell... he’ll be here soon...”, the woman shrugged, getting up to order them something for dinner. Magnus gulped his martini down his throat and dropped on the sofa to watch TV, possibly some reality TV.

The TV was set to a news channel when Magnus turned it on and there was a live coverage about an accident on the New Jersey Turnpike where a lorry had driven into two cars, crushing all the members inside. The image looked devastating as hell. Fire could be seen right behind the journalists covering the news and paramedics and the fire department were running helter-skelter.

Magnus dropped the remote from his hand...

.

_“You were right, Alexander. This weekend was one of the best trips I’ve ever had...”, Magnus tapped the window frame in the car which was cruising on the highway and they were still 90 miles away from the city._

_“So much better than the freaking... Bachelor!”, Alec winked, overtaking the car in front of them. He could hear the rumbling of the road and noticed a speeding SUV right behind them while he tapped the steering wheel... along the beats of the music. Alec shifted his car away from the SUV’s path and let it overtake them because he was in no hurry._

_“Oh right... well I still have to get that revenge on you... don’t I?”, Magnus pulled himself towards Alec and pressed a kiss on his cheek, making the latter blush. He turned around to momentarily gaze at Magnus and looked back to find a disoriented lorry rushing towards their side of the road. They didn’t look like they were in danger since the lorry would have had to cross the divider but considering they were crossing a bridge at the time, the roads both sides were very thin. Alec quickly grabbed the steering wheel tightly._

_“Magnus... hold on...”, he yelled and turned the car around while applying brakes. The tyres screeched as they skid on the road. The car rotated in it’s spot, attempting to slow down. Magnus saw the movement of the lorry from the window. The driver did not look like he was in control of the vehicle as its tyres climbed the divider and reached the other side of the road. He was scared because he could feel something bad was about to happen and he wanted to hold Alec tightly, but he couldn’t._

_Alec was trying to save their lives. The last thing Magnus remembered correctly was when the bumper of the lorry hit their car from his side and the jerk threw the car off in the air and it drove past the boundary of the bridge. He felt a sharp sprain in his neck from the hit and he had to steady himself._

_It was only a matter of seconds before they hit the dried-up river bed, but Magnus felt breathlessness and sheer fear as the car went airborne. He looked at Alec who was still trying to fight this lost battle of getting the car back under his control. The shock absorbers blew out from in front of Alec’s as the car hit the ground in an upright trajectory. The toppling of the car broke off Magnus’ seat and he fell right out of the car from the windshield._

_“MAGNUS!”, he heard Alec screech before warm liquid started oozing out of his head. He coughed and took a deep breath, attempting to gain back his oxygen but his chest seemed to be lacking it. He must have punctured a lung._

_His visions clouded in front of him and suddenly, he could feel the need to hold on to something, respond to someone but who? Someone who was so important to him... but he couldn’t remember the person’s name. And he was sure of that person being in pain at the moment... but who the hell was that person and why couldn’t Magnus remember his name or his face?_

_His memories became cloudier as he felt that the stairs of his house had hit him hard this time and he should think about getting them carpeted. He was going to be late and to top that, his father would not let him get to Catarina’s party on time. The last breath that he left out of his mouth came with small amounts of blood from his nose and then everything just darkened around him._

.

“If this is one of your stupid visions, Magnus I swear to God”, Catarina squealed, slapping Magnus gently on the face as the man collapsed on the carpet. His eyes were rolled up within his lids and he was seizing. “Wake up please”, she pleaded, holding Magnus’ head in her arms as she dialed 911.

“Hello... I need an ambulance... and a doctor... my friend here is...”, she sobbed and cried as the call connected.

.

_“Do you Magnus Bane take Alec Lightwood to be your lawfully wedded husband?”, the officiator whispered. Magnus looked at Alec clad in his favorite black tux and nodded immediately._

_“YES, I DO!”, he screamed._

_“I now pronounce you and declare you to be married to each other for the rest of your life and beyond”, the priest announced, and Magnus pulled Alec closer, kissing him right on his lips and grabbing the lapels of his tux._

.

Catarina was tightly holding Magnus’ hand as the paramedics carried Magnus to the ambulance and aided him with an oxygen mask to help him breathe. His seizures had been controlled but he was still unconscious and unresponsive.

.

_“Oh my good God... this little kitten”, Magnus cooed as he noticed Alec walk into their home holding a tiny kitten in his hand._

_“It was cold and shivering... and I just couldn’t...”, Alec whispered, rubbing the back of his head. Magnus gently picked the kitten up._

_“Hello, little one. Welcome to the family...”, he said, kissing its forehead. “Church Lightwood-Bane”, he announced. Alec widened his and then scoffed._

_“Your names are so weird. I can’t wait to see what you come up for our future kids, honey”, Alec rolled his eyes._

.

“We need to inform Alec”, Izzy marched outside Magnus’ room in the hospital. The doctors had stabilized Magnus and run some tests. Most had come normal and they were all puzzled. One of the neurologists who examined Magnus suggested that some trauma associated with the accident had put Magnus’ body in a state of shock and only his subconscious could pull him out of it.

“Alec must be on his way... if we tell him, he’ll panic”, Cat suggested.

“We can’t hide this from him...”, Izzy shook her head, dialing Alec’s number.

.

_“Happy anniversary, darling”, Magnus bent down on the bed and woke Alec up on the day of their first wedding anniversary with a kiss on the latter’s forehead. His hairs were dripping of water from the shower and the coldness ran shivers down Alec’s spine as he woke up._

_“Happy anniversary...”, Alec rasped in his morning voice. “Where did you leave early in the morning... you know I can’t sleep alone on the bed anymore... not without you...”, he added._

.

“Alec said that the accident on the main road deflected his route and he decided to stay in a motel for the night. But he’ll be here first thing next morning”, Izzy sighed, holding Magnus’ hand who was sleeping on the bed. “Oh my God... why does this keep happening to the two of them...”, she rubbed her temple.

“Alexander...”, Magnus swallowed, opening his eyes softly. “Alexander...”, he gasped... and widened his pupils suddenly. “ALEXANDER!”, he repeated, shooting up on the bed, struggling to get out of the clutches of the pulse monitor.

“Magnus... Magnus...”, Izzy and Catarina grabbed his shoulder to hold him back.

“Isabelle...”, Magnus looked at his sister-in-law. “I need to see Alec right now...”, he struggled, attempting to free himself.

“Alec is still not in New York... but he’ll be here soon... you need to rest Magnus. Your body...”, Catarina sat down on the bed and rubbed Magnus’ chest. “He’ll be here tomorrow morning... you need to calm down...”, she said, unable to understand Magnus’ state of mind.

“I can’t calm down Cat... 3 years...”, he mumbled, tears welling up in his eyes. “That’s how long I have lived in the oblivion...”, he announced. Izzy froze in her tracks as she heard this. “THREE FUCKING YEARS... I COULDN’T REMEMBER A SINGLE THING ABOUT ALEXANDER”, Magnus screamed, his eyes shutting down as tears squeezed out. “I DIVORCED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!”, he said, helplessly.

“And nobody holds it against you...”, Catarina shook her head, unable to comprehend the signs.

“The accident wasn’t his fault... and lorry... the way it reached for us...”, Magnus widened his eyes and looked at Izzy who was now sitting down and holding Magnus’ hand, rubbing his knuckles. “It was so horrifying, Isabelle...”, he choked. “Alec tried so hard to pull us out of it’s way... he went all in... and oh my God... I let him go through all this alone... why...”, he dropped his head and broke into a sob.

“Magnus... how do you remember the accident...”, Catarina gasped. “Did you have another vision...?”, she asked.

“I think remember almost everything now...”, Magnus shook his head, rubbing his temple furiously.

“You are...”, Izzy’s eyes were filled with tears. She picked up her phone and dialed Alec’s number. “Alec?”, she choked as the latter picked up. “I need you to talk to someone...”, she said and pressed the phone on Magnus’ ear.

“Alexander?”, Magnus shut his eyes and whispered.

“Oh, thank God you’re awake! Magnus...”, Alec screamed, exasperated. “Don’t ever scare me like that... are you ok?”

“I am... I am ok. But I need you...”, he pleaded.

“I’ll be there tomorrow... for sure... just go and rest... sleep ok?”, he said, softly.

“I cannot rest now... not until you are with me. I’ve slept alone for a very long time Alexander. Not anymore. Never... anymore.”, he rolled his eyes and dropped his head. There was a loud gasp on the other end of the phone.

“Did you have another vision?”, Alec asked.

“More like tons of them...”, Magnus joked. “I got my memories back, Alexander”, he spoke after a pause. “all...of them...”, he finished. There was silence on the other side of the call and Magnus could just hear Alec’s rapid breathing.

“I am coming...”, Alec announced, hanging up the call on Magnus. Alec’s forehead, shushing him back to sleep and pressing a kiss on the side of his chin.

\-----

“Kitty, calm down... and tell me. When did you last see Magnus, and did he say something specifically? You know we can’t find him until you tell us everything you know...”, Alec tried very hard to contain the panic in his own voice. The entire gang was freaking out ever since Magnus disappeared from the hospital. He had been away from New York for only one day and meanwhile, Magnus had had a meltdown in Cat’s house, hospitalization and now, he was missing. Things couldn’t get any worse than they were now... well _apart_ from the whole amnesia thing. But Alec knew that he wouldn’t find answers or Magnus if he was also freaking out. Especially after the doctor had told him that Magnus had gotten almost all his memories back, except for a few minor blackouts that must have been lost in his mind forever.

“He... I went to check on him last night and he said that he wanted to go home. I told him that I would take him as soon as the doctor said it was ok to...”, Cat covered her mouth with her palm as tears streamed out. Alec squeezed her arm and wiped the tears away with his other hand.

“Hey... Kitty... it’s ok. I’ll find him... He is a strong man. Nothing is going to happen to Magnus.”, Alec said, determined to follow through on his promise. The hospital was on red alert. One of their most faithful clients was missing and the administration was doing everything to locate Magnus the last time before he exited the premises. Maryse and Robert had already flown down to Manhattan after they received the news of Magnus’ memories coming back, and Asmodeus was speaking with the police when Alec returned. Alec wanted to see Magnus so bad, now that he remembered every last bit of their time and love. The police proceeded to talk to Catarina who narrated everything she had told Alec, but in a great deal of detail. Alec was leaning on the wall nearby with his hands crossed on his chest. He had Magnus’ wedding ring clasped in his palms and the knuckles were pressed on his lips.

“He wouldn’t understand a thing last night. I told him that I would take him home myself. I mean that man is outrageous and so stubborn. I hate him... he wanted to see Alec and he just wasn’t ready to listen to any logic...whatsoever”, Cat cried. “He was going to be discharged first thing today morning, but he couldn’t fucking wait for a few hours...”, she rubbed her head. “And we checked his loft and Alec’s studio. He didn’t go to either of these places... I don’t know where he is. He could be confused and cold. It’s still chilly out there! God, Magnus. I will kill him when I find him.”, Catarina dropped on one of the chairs and held her head between her hands.

“I think I know where he is”, Alec suddenly spoke up. His eyes flickered as he realized that he possibly knew where Magnus could have disappeared to. The detectives approached him, hoping that Alec was disclose the information. “Detective... I will go and find him myself, if you don’t mind. He is still recovering, and a police force could startle him.”, he requested.

“Mr Lightwood, we cannot let you go to retrieve Mr Bane alone. For all we know, he could be in trouble or taken hostage and we’re not letting a civilian walk in without any backup. That is strictly against protocol.”, the Detective spoke up. He was a tall and stout man and his mannerisms depicted authority.

“Detective Garroway, I believe?”, Alec read the label on the man’s shirt. The detective affirmed and placed his hands on his hips. “I know Magnus is not in any danger. He said he wanted to go home...”, Alec lowered his tone. “Our home...”, he explained, and Izzy and Cat’s eyes lit up as they realized that Alec could be right.

“The bungalow where he and I used to live... before... the accident. When we were... married to each other”, Alec cleared his throat. “I am positive that Magnus went back to that place... and I need to go after him, but alone. I cannot lose him again, Sir.”, his voice broke into a choke as the possibility of losing Magnus dawned on him. “I am sure he is not in any danger and he sure is no danger to me...”, the architect assured folding his sleeves up to his elbow.

“We understand that, Mr Lightwood. But, we still cannot let you go alone. What I can do is ask my men to be a block away from you so that they can find you, _in case_ , you need our help, which I truly hope you won’t!”, Detective Garroway looked stubborn and Alec couldn’t argue further. They were running out of time as it is. He sighed and accepted the new offer without any further ado. Alec rushed out of the hospital towards his car and a group of men followed him. Cat and Izzy yelled at him to get _his husband back_ as he stepped in the car and fastened his seatbelt.

When Alec and Magnus got married about 8 years ago, they had bought a small bungalow in the Queens together, away from the noisy Manhattan and commuted to Manhattan and Brooklyn respectively every day for work. Alec had personally designed the layout of the bungalow after they renovated it and it was like their child that they had nurtured to life. They had seen it grow from ruins into a beautiful house that they eventually named “Home” with the Lightwood-Bane written just below outside on the main gate. Magnus had paid special attention towards decorating the interiors of the house and fill it will the happiest memories. Right after accident and Magnus moving back to Seattle, Alec moved out of the _“Home”,_ without any plans to sell it off or move back in without Magnus because he knew or at least hoped and prayed, somewhere deep down that one day, he and Magnus will go back to living there. For three years, Alec spent one Sunday every month cleaning the bungalow and replacing white sheets on the furniture and the walls. It broke him every time he went there because the house was flooded with pictures of Alec and Magnus and all the happy times that they had seen together.

This time, as he drove across Manhattan to the Queens, it was entirely different feeling. The anticipation of meeting Magnus for the first time since he got his memories back and the excitement of doing that in their home. Alec pressed the accelerator as his car entered the bridge on the East River.

Alec stopped his car sticking it very close to the pavement as soon as he reached his home and rushed out, locking the car behind him. Alec stopped in front of the house and noticed that the lights in the master bedroom were on and there was slow music playing on their stereo in the living room. The door was unlocked and slightly open. Alec took a deep breath and stepped forward. His heart was racing pretty fast. The door creaked as he pushed it and he made a mental note to get the hinges oiled the next time he came back. As he stepped on the floorboard, it dipped below his shoes and made a loud noise. Alec gently made his way in and looked around in the living room. There was a beautiful arch that separated the reception area from the living room which was also 4-steps lower than the entire house. Alec peered and saw a man sitting on the steps that separated the reception area from the living room. His elbows were resting on his knees with the rest of his hand hanging down and his head was dropped down.

Alec could recognize the figure anywhere. He cleared his throat and stepped forward, hoping to not startle Magnus.

“Long day at work, babe?”, he threw a question and waited for Magnus’ reaction. This was something Alec always asked Magnus when the latter was worked up and gloomy. A light scoff accompanied by a sniffle pierced Alec’s heart like a dagger. He covered the distance between him and Magnus and sat behind him, dropping his long legs on either side of his ex-husband. He lifted his arms and wrapped it around the man, pressing his nose on the back of Magnus’ neck. He sighed as he felt Magnus stiffen below his touch.

“Alexander”, Magnus whispered, his voice laden with tears and pain. The way Magnus said it was different... there was a familiarity in this voice which the amnesia!Magnus lacked, not that Alec complained. The architect trailed his fingers blindly, with his eyes still closed, until they met Magnus’ clasped fist and wrapped them around it to make a larger fist. He whispered a soft “Shh, I am here...” near Magnus’ neck where his lips were brushing against and took a deep breath with an attempt to take in Magnus’ scent. Magnus was slowly relaxing.

“You gave us all a scare... didn’t you?”, Alec mumbled, moving his lips against Magnus’ neck. “Cat went ahead and called the police...and that is a good thing considering her other option was FBI or Homeland Security. Would you believe that? But right now... half of Brooklyn is looking for you...”, he chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood. He was too scared to face Magnus right now, the old Magnus again. The one who remembered everything. Alec had done so well in hiding his pain and longing for the last three years, but he knew that he had stuffed it all inside and looking at Magnus would unleash all that in one single moment. Making a joke seemed like a better way to begin this much-needed yet emotionally taxing conversation.

Alec tightened his grip around Magnus and pressed him on his chest, burying his own face in his hair. Magnus did not give him a snarky reply instead, remained quiet and still. “It’s ok. We can deal with all that later.”, he comforted Magnus, rubbing his fingers up and down Magnus’ arm. He could hear the other man’s heartbeat racing under his touch. “Calm down, Magnus. I am here. And it is just me...”, he whispered, kissing his temple. Magnus’ sniffles and tiny sobs, however, didn’t seem to stop. Magnus lifted his hands up and curled it around Alec’s arms that were hugging his chest. He dropped his head and pressed a wet kiss on them.

“Alexander”, he repeated Alec’s name and the latter’s eyes burned up with tears. He knew this was it. There was no holding back now. They had to face each other and the situation. He let go off Magnus and spread his legs apart. Magnus stood up and turned around, still between Alec’s legs though and for the first time, really looked at Alec with all his reinstated memories. His knees rested on the step below where Alec was sitting, and his pupils flickered mercilessly as he looked at Alec.

He had been dating Alec for only a few weeks now and it was all good and romantic between them. Magnus was also beginning to understand how his other self must have fallen so hard for a boy like Alec Lightwood. Alec was making him fall in love every single day but this time, when he looked at Alec, he couldn’t remember anything else but how much he had missed being in love with him with every fiber of his being. Alec’s eyes were wide open, and his brows were raised. He gently lifted his hands and cupped Alec’s face and the boy melted in his touch, dropping his face and shutting his eyes down. Magnus sniffled as he came closer and pressed a tearful and wet kiss on Alec’s lips.

Alec broke into a sob as he kissed Magnus back. The kiss was short and hasty because it wasn’t the kiss that Alec had missed. It was Magnus. His Magnus whom he hadn’t stopped loving for a single second in his entire life. He pulled away from his lips and scanned Magnus’ face. The other man was smiling at him. “That was quite the revenge, wasn’t it honey?”, he chortled, clearing his throat. Magnus sniffed and narrowed his brows unable to understand Alec’s context.

“Remember you told me that you’ll make me pay for not letting you watch the Bachelor that weekend”, Alec shut his eyes as the painful memories of the accident flooded his mind. Magnus’ expressions dropped from his face and he looked away.

“I was just kidding... I am sorry... look at me, it’s ok. Whatever is done is done.”, Alec said, very softly. Magnus gave him a guilty smile and dropped further on his knees, burying his face in Alec’s lap.

“Of everything I could have forgotten”, he mumbled, visibly cursing himself. “Camille... my mother’s suicide... my first failed attempt at a job...”, he muttered. Alec ruffled Magnus’ hair with his fingers and kissed the top of his head.

“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known... none of us could have known that this would happen.”, he whispered.

“It is, Alexander. I did this...”, he looked up and cried, eyes red and swollen with pain and heartbreak.

“NO! You didn’t. Keep that thought out of your mind.”, Alec cupped his face and wiped the tears away, gently stroking his cheekbones.

“I sent you divorce papers... I ended our marriage... I let you be alone in this. It was supposed to be us against the world... and I didn’t follow through on my vows to you, Alexander... I failed _us._ ”

“It is still us against the world... you didn’t fail us Magnus. Far from it...”, Alec argued.

“I left you to fight alone... I...”, he sobbed incessantly as he spoke, and Alec couldn’t look at Magnus being in so much pain. He called out his name, but Magnus didn’t pay attention. He was too distraught for it.

“I let you go out with that stupid neighbor...that stupid, immature idiot who didn’t deserve you and your affection. I... destroyed everything that was good and beautiful about your life and forced you to go out and wow, I hate myself so much right now...”, Magnus continued, his mind wandering to Alec’s ex-boyfriend Travis. Alec smiled at that, he had always enjoyed Magnus’ jealousy.

“You didn’t, babe...”, Alec kissed Magnus’ forehead as the latter curled his palms around Alec’s wrists.

“Alexander, I love you. I am so sorry but I love you so much!”, he exclaimed, and Alec’s heart skipped a beat. Three years since the last time Magnus had told him that he loved him. He had spent three years of loving someone who didn’t remember loving him back. His lips curved into a very big smile when he heard those three words out of Magnus’ mouth again.

“I love you too”, he moaned.

“I am sorry. I am so sorry.”, Magnus shook his head.

“Don’t be, Magnus. Please. None of this is your fault. Losing you to that accident was the hardest thing I had to go through... but if something worse would have happened to you... I wouldn’t have survived that, Magnus. I would have died... I lived every day of the last three years thanking anyone I could that they kept you safe and alive... I wanted nothing more than to hear you breathe... did I not tell you that when you came over to my apartment for the first time. You are breathing and in front of me and that would have kept me going as long as I took my last breath. That is how much I love you”, Alec pressed two quick kisses on Magnus’ lips.

“Now, before the NYPD breaks into our Home, let’s get you back to the hospital so that the doctor can formally discharge you... and I can take you away from all that”, Alec retracted his legs and grabbed Magnus’ arms to get up. Magnus was not willing to leave their Home just yet, but he nodded. He tightly clasped Alec’s hand as they got up, constantly reminding himself to not let go.

“I am not going anywhere!”, Alec assured as they walked out of the house and towards Alec’s car. Magnus looked up once Alec stopped and pulled him back.

“No... not the car Alexander...”, he panicked. The last time he had been in Alec’s car, they had run down into a river. Alec immediately put his keys back in and nodded, booking a cab to the hospital.

They settled in the backseat and Magnus leaned closer, wrapping his arms around Alec’s waist and placing his head on his chest. Alec rubbed Magnus’ back and kissed his forehead as they swiftly reached the hospital. Izzy and Cat were waiting for them in the lobby and as the two men walked in, they stood up, sighing in relief. Cat took a step forward to hold Magnus, but Alec gestured her to not because Magnus had tightly wrapped himself around Alec’s arm, still too scared to let Alec go.

They proceeded straight into the doctor’s office to get Magnus checked. The doctor himself didn’t question Magnus about his whereabouts but simply went ahead to do his examination. Other than being slightly starved and dehydrated, Magnus’ vitals were doing fine.

“You can take him home, Mr Lightwood. He is perfectly fine. But make sure he takes copious amounts of fluids and fruits. It’s necessary for his metabolism to go back to normal, now that he remembers everything...”, the doctor announced. Alec shook the doctor’s hand and walked out, with Magnus still tightly holding his hand. Catarina and Izzy were waiting for them outside.

“Hey...?”, Alec turned around and cupped Magnus’ face. Magnus smiled and looked up. “I am going to go and sign your discharge papers and get your medicines and vitamins. You stay here with Kitty and Iz”, Alec whispered. Magnus shook his head, unwilling to let Alec go.

“I’ll be back before you know it. I am done being away from you too...”, Alec smiled and pressed an assuring kiss on Magnus’ lips. Magnus nodded and let Alec go. As Alec turned his back towards Magnus and walked away, Catarina pulled Magnus in a very tight hug. None of them addressed the issue of Magnus running away and they just sat there waiting for Alec.

“WHERE ARE THEY!”, Magnus looked up when he heard his mother-in-law’s voice in the hallway. He was right. Maryse and Robert were approaching them and Asmodeus was slowly following behind. Maryse had a delightful grin on her face as she saw Magnus and Magnus didn’t hesitate to return the smile back. He stood up and ran towards her as she opened her arms and hugged her tightly.

“Hi”, she sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Magnus smiled and pulled away, kissing her cheek. He had forgotten such important people and parts of his life. “You look healthy. I am so glad”, she chirped.

“I missed you, Mom”, Magnus whispered, taking her hands in his. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

“I missed you too, my boy. We all did. But, we’re so glad to see you’re ok...”, she giggled. Robert patted Magnus’ shoulder and smiled, looking around to find Alec. “Where’s... Where’s Alec? I thought he was already here... wasn’t he?”, she enquired, looking around for her son.

“He is doing the discharge formalities, Mrs Lightwood. The doctors said that we can take Magnus home. He won’t trouble us more than usual and that’s good news...”, Catarina informed. Maryse’s eyes widened and she cupped Magnus’ face. “You’re finally going home...”, she whispered.

“I am!”, Magnus was so delighted. They sat down together and waited for Alec to come back. He returned a few minutes later, holding a packet of medicines in his hand. He approached Magnus and held out his other hand. Magnus smiled and took it, standing on his feet.

“You need to rest...”, he breathed out.

“I want to talk to you... I can rest later... we have lost so much time and I can’t lose any more”, Magnus protested. Alec tilted his head in one direction and rolled his eyes.

“I want to talk to you too... but we’ll do that when you’re rested and alert. Magnus, I am not asking you. This is an order! I have lost you to your health once and I can’t have go all amnesic on me again...”, Alec said, sternly and Magnus could do nothing but pout. They proceeded to Cat’s car who agreed to drop them back at Alec’s studio apartment for now. There were still some things needed to be done at their house only after which they could have moved in. Magnus dozed off on the way and Alec carried him to his apartment when they reached.

Church was sleeping on the kitchen counter when he heard his father come in. He purred and welcomed him, more excitedly so when he saw his other father in Alec’s arms. He followed Alec as Magnus put him in his bed and removed his shoes. He pulled a thick blanket over Magnus and went to the other side to switch the lights off. The feline looked utterly confused at the whole ordeal. He hadn’t seen Magnus sleep in Alec’s bed in a very long time.

“We’re going to let him sleep...alright Church! Don’t wake your father up... hear me?”, Alec picked his cat up and whispered in his ear, while moving his fingers through the cat’s fur. Church looked up at Alec and purred, as if agreeing to obey and be a nice kitty for some time. They drew the curtains and turned the lights off before proceeding to the couch. To Alec’s surprise, Church jumped out of his arms on the way and rushed back to Magnus, climbing atop the bed next to the sleeping man. He sprawled above the blanket, burying his head very close to his favorite human. Alec smiled and walked out of the room to give Magnus his much-needed rest.

\------

Magnus woke up nearly six hours later and found Church tugging close to him. He yawned and stretched his arms out of the duvet to look for Alec, hoping he’d be lying next to him. But, Alec wasn’t there with him... instead Church purred when he heard Magnus wake up. It stood up and nestled on Magnus’ neck almost startling him out of his sleep. Magnus scoffed and reciprocated the cat’s affection.

“Hello to you too, little one...”, Magnus whispered, digging his fingers in Church’s fur as he picked him up and pressed a kissed on his forehead. He rubbed his head against Magnus’ cheek. “Yes, I missed you too... a lot. Now, where’s your father?”, Magnus asked and got up from the bed, looking for his shoes when he found a pair of slippers waiting for him. “Come on, let’s go and find Dad”, Magnus yawned and stepped towards the kitchen area where he could hear Alec stirring something.

The man’s hazel eyes lit up when he saw Magnus walking towards him. Church quickly sprinted across the room and jumped on the couch to settle on one of the cushions giving the two men privacy to talk and work things out. Alec smiled and held his hand out to Magnus.

“How are you feeling now? Did you rest well?”, Alec asked, pulling Magnus close to him and wrapping his arms around his waist. Magnus hummed and settled on Alec’s chest. “Did... did Church wake you up? I told him to let you sleep...but that...devil”, Alec rolled his eyes, hissing at the cat who whined in response, making the men chuckle.

“I feel very good”, Magnus smiled and kissed Alec’s forehead, lifting himself up on his toes. Alec’s lips curved into a big smile and he turned to watch his pot simmer again. “Much better actually. And don’t blame him for everything. Little Church didn’t wake me up. I woke up myself, much to your surprise Alexander”, he added, pausing for a minute to analyze Alec’s face who still looked the same since the last time he remembered looking at it with his memories intact.

“I love you?”, Magnus narrowed his brows, adjusting a few strands of hair on Alec’s forehead. Alec leaned in and pecked Magnus on his lips.

“I love you too”, Alec hummed. He lifted his head up from Magnus’ lips and pressed a kiss on Magnus’ forehead. “Ohh... I got you something...!”, he inserted his hand in his pocket and took out a ring, which made Magnus gasp.

“Dad gave it back to me...”, he cleared his throat and Magnus understood that they were talking about Asmodeus. “Before he was taking you back to Seattle after the accident. For safe-keeping... until the time you had a chance of taking it back...”, he added, with tears glistening his eyes as he recalled the dreadful moment. “I brought it with me to the hospital when I heard about your memories...thought you might ask for it... We’ll definitely get a new one... I mean if you want to get married again... but until then, here’s your old ring...if you want it. We won’t rush into doing anything... I promise. We’ll take this as slowly as possible. Nothing comes before your well-being”, Alec stuttered and struggled with his words while Magnus just stared at the boy, dumbfounded.

“Of course, I want my old ring”, Magnus sniffed, holding out his left hand with palm facing downwards. “And what do you mean by _if_ I want to get married... the Magnus who ended this wedding was the stupidest version of me to ever exist...”, Magnus rolled his eyes, making Alec chuckle. “I am dying to be your husband again and to correct the mistakes he made, Alexander... I miss you... and I miss us, the normalcy of us... with Church and our Home... it has been far too long, and I don’t want to spend another second without you. It’s already been such a long time...”, he said, proudly. The corner of his eyes was shining with tiny tears.

“Alright...”, he smiled and held Magnus’ ring finger as he slipped the wedding back in his hand.

“Where’s your ring?”, Magnus questioned, examining Alec’s naked hand.

“Uhh... it must be there in my locker...”, he rubbed his temple.

“Find it for me...?”, Magnus asked, in the softest way possible and Alec had to oblige, knowing that he could never refuse Magnus. He walked to his cupboard and returned with his own wedding ring a few minutes later. Magnus snatched it from him and dropped on his knee in front of Alec, startling him.

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, would you give this lost cause Magnus Bane another chance and get married to me for the rest of our lives? I wouldn’t know what to do with my life without you being in it and it might sound selfish, but I have missed you enough to want you become my husband again as soon as it is possible.”, he blurted out. Alec widened his pupils and chuckled. He didn’t realize he was crying until he felt tears trickle down his throat. “This is the trashiest way to propose to your ex-husband, but I have already made so many mistakes in my life that I can’t wait to correct the most gruesome one of letting you go in the first place...”

“Do you really need to ask me?”, Alec raised a brow. “Do you have a doubt that I’ll say no to you...?”, he rolled his eyes.

“Alexander, shut up and answer me...”, Magnus shut his eyes.

“YES, Magnus. YES!! I will marry you in every lifetime as long as you want to marry me too”, Alec yelled and laughed, holding out his hand. Magnus slipped the ring in Alec’s finger and stood up, jumping right in Alec’s arms. Alec grabbed Magnus as the latter wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his face in his neck. Alec swept him off his feet and squeezed him tightly against his chest.

“Now... how about you call those investors and tell them that you’ll take this job offer in DC... and we’ll make this work...”, Magnus breathed out and smiled at Alec.

“How??”, Alec gasped.

“I am gonna visit you on the weekends and let Raphael be incharge of the restaurant... and you visit me whenever you can...alright? In short, Alexander. We’ll make it...”

It was difficult to predict what future stored for the two men. If the past was any proof, they knew one thing – no matter what happened, their love was strong enough to survive it. Their love would pull them together even if fate ever has other ideas.


End file.
